Archive for July, 2012

Pam’s happy face looks just like her mad face.

July 29 – Jason stops Sookie from depleting her fairy light by making her realize her powers may help them discover the identity of the vampire who killed their parents. Sookie’s fairy powers make her special, he reminds her. The two return to Fairyland to enlist the help of the fairies and the tinkerbells form a circle of energy that enables Sook to experience what her mother saw the night she was killed. Sook sees the vamp, but can’t make out his features, then, when her mother dies in the flashback, Sook sees the proceedings from the vamp’s point of view and feels the blast of her dead fairy godmother Claudine, who attacked the vampire, calling him Warlo. Sookie later sees a ghostly version of Warlo floating above her in her bathroom. Does the vamp sense that the Stackhouse siblings are hot on his trail? Jessica has a close call when she picks up a hot fangbanger at Fangtasia who turns out to be one of the hate group members who lured her into a trap to be presented to Hoyt bound in silver chains for execution. Hoyt spares her life but is still bitter when she admits that her love for him has died. In other Fangtasia news, Tara, who is looking more glamorous as the weeks go by, has a nasty reunion with a bitchy and racist acquaintance from high school. Although Pam stops Tara from being rude to the customer, she later presents the woman, chained up, to Tara as her personal feeding station. A delighted Tara, who thought Pam was upset with her, learns that Pam’s mad face looks just like her happy one and dives into her meal with gusto. Also diving into things is Alcide, who has two vigorous tussles with very different results. First, he and Rikki give in to their simmering animal attraction and have a hot round of perfect-bodied wolf sex. Alcide may have a new mate, but he may not live long enough to enjoy her if J.D. has anything to say about it. Knowing Alcide’s morals are his weak spot, J.D. challenges him to a hunt where the prey is a young human track star. Alcide refuses to participate and tries to stop J.D. when the hunt goes on. A juiced-up J.D. gets the best of Alcide during their fight but is stopped from killing him by Martha and the rest of the pack. How will Alcide bounce back from this humiliating defeat? Luna has a pretty bad day herself when her skincrawling morphing ability kicks in from all the stress over the shifter hunters and she turns into Sam! She steals some clothes to sneak out of the hospital while clueless folks don’t notice that although she looks like Sam she still walks like Luna. At the jail, Sam is interrogating a hate group member in the form of a cobra when Luna shows up and freaks him out. Looking on at the weird sight of Sam and his lookalike girlfriend, Andy woefully says he hates living in freaky Bon Temps.

Can Arlene save Terry from the curse of the Ifrit?

Lafayette has a loving reunion with the spirit of Jesus as he’s driving home and gets hired by Arlene and Holly to break the fire monster curse hovering over Terry. The girls are hopeful that a séance with Lafayette will convince Terry that he’s not doomed. Lafayette plays along for a pay-day but the séance, with Terry and Patrick present, becomes the real thing when Lafayette channels the spirit of the Iraqi woman, who reveals that the only way the curse of the Ifrit can be lifted is if either Terry or Patrick is killed as a sacrifice. An eye for an eye, as it were. The girls aren’t happy with Lafayette’s performance. Neither is Patrick, who runs out like a bat out of hell. How appropriate. At the Authority headquarters, the chancellors are basking in the afterglow of their feeding orgy and begin plotting the overthrow of the mainstreaming movement worldwide. Steve Newlin and Russell seem to be contemplating maneuvers of a different sort when a bossy Salome reminds Russ that it’s time to work. Has the Vampire King found a replacement for his late partner Talbot? Salome is exerting her newfound power in very pushy ways, like forcing Bill to feed on a human woman. While the chancellors strategize their next move, Bill comes up with the diabolical idea of bombing True Blood factories to force the mainstreamers to feed on humans. The chancellors love the idea. Eric can’t believe his ears. Has Bill turned to the dark side or is this the first step in a brilliant plan to defeat the sanguinistas? Stay tuned!

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Chancellor Dieter Braun lost his head over the whole drinking Lilith’s blood thing.

July 22 – The Authority’s goons subdue the rampaging Russell with a net made of silver after he staked poor Roman. Salome finally confesses to digging up Russell in order to sic him on Roman and steal his position as the Authority’s guardian. She’s in cahoots with Norah as sanguinistas who will democratize the vampire power base among all vamps to live in servitude to Lilith as the vampire bible dictates. Eric is livid with Norah and can’t believe he fell for her act. Salome frees Russell, who claims to be now serving Lilith. When Salome offers the chancellors Lilith’s blood to drink Dieter Braun cries blasphemy and gets beheaded by Russ. The chancellors, along with Bill and Eric, get royally smashed on Lilith’s potent brand of V juice and walk the streets of New Orleans in a drunken stupor. Crashing a pre-wedding party, the vamps turn the humans’ festivities into a blood-soaked feeding frenzy, stopping momentarily to witness the curvaceous nude form of Lilith emerge from a floating drop of blood. The vampire queen directs them to continue their gorging but Eric is stopped by the spirit of Godric, who tells him what they’re doing is wrong. Will Eric rise up against Lilith’s will? Alcide is determined to beat alpha male J.D. for control of the wolf pack without using V to even the playing field as his new she-wolf friend Rikki suggests. A frisky Alcide and Rikki’s fight workout morphs into a sexy wrestling match which Martha interrupts. She won’t believe J.D. is on V but later catches him trying to feed it to Emma. In fairyland, the fairies revive Sookie and reveal they blasted her to test her luminescence, which is finite and will be depleted as she uses her powers. The prospect of being powerless is not unappealing to Sook, however. During a visit to the hospital to visit Luna, Sook ponders with Sam how living as a human again would be safer. She may have a point, the hate thugs are thirsting for revenge against Sam for killing one of their group as Sam discovers when he catches one of them lurking around the hospital. Worse yet, they’ve convinced Hoyt that his place is with them. Meanwhile, family issues bedevil Tara and Lafayette. Tara’s mother interrupts her daughter’s super-powered pole dance at Fangtasia to tell her she’s disowning her. Tara makes a veiled threat in return but is devastated by her mom’s rejection nonetheless. Pam, who is genuinely proud of Tara’s erotic dancing skills, comforts her progeny briefly, promising she’ll totally forget her human mother in 100 years. Lafayette tracks down Jesus’ uncle Don Bartolo and is caught in the brujo’s trap. Tying up Lafayette and suturing his mouth shut like Jesus, Don Bartolo plans to transfer Lafayette’s brujo mojo, which he believes Lafayette doesn’t deserve, into the unborn child his wife is carrying. Luckily for Lafayette, the wife isn’t on board with the game plan and stabs Bartolo to death then frees Lafayette.

Jessica’s not smiling after her tiff with Jason. Will she be the hate group’s next target?

The boring Ifrit story limps along as Arlene is comforted by Holly, who reminds her friend that they’ve seen enough crazy stuff to warrant giving Terry the benefit of the doubt. The Ifrit continues to toy with Patrick and Terry, biding its time before making a final attack. Yawn. Far more juicy is Jason’s encounter with Jess after he interrupts her feeding session on a hunky fangbanger. Jason insults Jess and she instinctively bites him so he shoots her in the head. Although the gunshot wound heals immediately, the wound to Jess’ heart proves deeper and she banishes Jason from her mansion as her guards pounce to protect her. Jason is distracted from his fight with Jessica by a blinding light show caused by Sookie unleashing a torrent of light blasts into the sky to deplete her powers. Will Sook go back to being just a waitress again?

 

Eric tried to elminate some competition for Sookie while glamouring Alcide.

July 15 – A battle royal breaks out in Russell Edgington’s chamber as his guard wolves pounce on Eric, Bill and Alcide. Russ tries to replenish his powers with a drink of Sookie’s fairy blood but is flung across the room by her potent light blast. One of the Authority’s chancellors arrives to stop the melee along with his goon squad. He agrees to let Bill and Eric glamour Sookie and Alcide to make them forget what transpired. Eric takes advantage and convinces Alcide that he’s repulsed by Sookie but Bill let’s Sookie remember and pretends to wipe her memory clean of not only the fight with Russ but their love. As a heartbroken Sook drives off with Alcide, the Authority chancellor rounds up the remaining grateful human survivors from Russ’s ghoulish food pantry and slaughters them to cover the Authority’s tracks. At Fangtasia, Tara makes Pam proud by standing up to Jessica in their bathroom brawl but Pam reminds her “daughter” that she’s no more than a well-trained dog. I think Tara may still be touched by Pam’s words. Hoyt is pretty pleased by the girl fight, which he takes as evidence that Jess still loves him. He offers himself to her any way she’ll have him. He just wants to be hers and hers alone. She doesn’t take him up on his offer. Stung by her renewed rejection, he takes up with a male vampire and doesn’t care when the feeding vamp warns him he’s close to death. Hoyt is “rescued” by the supes-hating goons who shot Sam and Luna when they drive up and destroy the vampire. The goons know Hoyt well. Will he be recruited to their cause? Sam and Luna survive their wounds and Emma’s grandmother brings her to visit them in the ER. Luna realizes she must let the wolf matriarch care for Emma while Sam tracks down the masked hoodlums with Andy’s help. When Sam and Andy visit an weapons store for vamp haters, the clerk recognizes Sam and tries to shoot Andy but Sam kills him with a crossbow first! At Sookie’s house, a huge Alcide looks hysterical waking up in Sook’s prissy pink bedroom. During breakfast, he doesn’t remember anything that went on the night before and recoils when Sook touches him, just as Eric wanted. Sook nevertheless breaks through to Alcide’s subconscious and unlocks his memories. Alcide is disgusted that Bill and Eric let Russell live and heads off to confront the werewolves from Marcus Bozeman’s pack who are in cahoots with Russ. When Alcide lays claim to the title of the pack’s new master, he’s challenged by the Alpha wolf who was insulted by Alcide’s initial rejection of the pack. Alcide now feels it’s his responsibility to set the pack straight and get them out from under Russell’s influence. He is backed up by the sexy she-wolf who hunted down Sam for killing Marcus at the start of the season. Will she be Sookie’s new competition for Alcide’s heart? At Merlotte’s Sookie joins Holly and Arlene in some commiserating about the folly of men. Sook thinks they’re only good for making trouble. She should know. Terry, who along with Patrick escaped the Ifrit (for now, anyway), tells Arlene about his curse by the Iraqi woman he executed and a disbelieving Arlene just tells him to go back on his meds. He insists he needs to leave her in order to keep her and the kids safe.

Jason and Sookie go back to Fairyland.

Jason shares his experience in Fairyland with Sook and she decides they need to go there to retrieve Hunter. When they meet up with Hadley and the male fairy who ran from Jessica at the women’s clothing store, the guy tells Sookie that a vampire had confronted her parents on a bridge and killed them because he was drawn to a bandage in the back seat of their car with the scent of Sookie’s blood. An enraged Sook light-blasts him and gets blasted back by some of the other fairies in a blinding display of ticked-off Tinker Bells! Lafayette visits his mom to check in after she has a seizure and learns that she also saw Jesus’ head. Jesus needs his help, she tells him. The question is where is Jesus and is his uncle involved in the visions Lafayette and Ruby are seeing? At the Authority’s headquarters, Bill and Eric are greeted as returning heroes by the chancellors who are proud of the guys’ ingenuity in apprehending crazy Russell. A buff Roman, his rippling muscles practically bursting out of a skintight polo shirt, is especially proud of the boys and even grants Eric’s request to get some alone time with Norah, who’s getting loonier by the minute with her Lilith worship. Roman gleefully plans for Russell’s execution but Salome acts a bit weird. Later, as the chancellors surround Russell trussed up in a stake harness, Roman’s remote control fails and Russ overpowers him and stakes him as a bloody tear streams down Salome’s cheek. Was she the one who betrayed the Authority? I for one will miss having Roman around. He was a bit talky, but he sure knew how to fill out a polo shirt.

Will Alcide ever make things happen with Sookie?!

July 8 – Sookie and Alcide’s drunken interlude devolves into slapstick when Sook throws up on a shirtless Alcide’s shoes before they can really get down to business. “Alcide, you really know how to treat a lady,” says Eric, who’s dropped by with Bill in the nick of time. Bill and Eric need her help to locate Russell by reading the mind of a guard who saw things go down the night Russ was dug up. Alcide, Bill and Eric argue about how the boys messed up things with King Russ and Sookie can barely take their immature bickering. Nevertheless, she picks up from the guard’s memories that it was a woman wearing a bat-shaped necklace from The Authority who dug up Russell. Bill thinks the culprit is Norah who may have been plotting to turn them over to Russ to win him over to her plot to overthrow The Authority’s plan to mainstream into human society. Eric isn’t convinced. The guys don’t have much time left to argue now that their stake harnesses have been activated to go off at sunrise if they don’t turn up Russell. Luckily for them, Sook’s powers lead them to Russell’s new lair and a poor guy trussed up like a side of beef to be served to the ancient vampire king tells them exactly where they can find Russ. Russell is looking like his old self when the gang arrive at his private quarters and Eric tells him they have come to finish him off. Do your best, Russ spits back. Back at Fangtasia, a glammed-up Tara shows up for her new job as a bartender. Unfortunately, her adjustment to vampire life continues to be bumpy as she attacks one of the patrons and Pam intercedes, slamming her up against the wall and telling her that she can’t feed on humans in public. Jessica notices Tara’s embarrassing dressing down from Pam and offers her friendship, noting they have a kinship as new vamps. Their road to BFFs takes a detour, however, when Jess catches Tara feeding on a willing Hoyt in the Fangtasia bathroom stalls. Classy! Jason and Lafayette are both plagued by disturbing visions. Jason dreams about having breakfast with Sook as a little girl with their parents but the happy memory turns ghastly when Mr. and Mrs. Stackhouse sprout bleeding fang wounds. Jason’s mom acts nonchalant and offers to give him oral sex when she notices he’s upset. Later, Jason and Andy discuss the growing presence of supernaturals in Bon Temps, the fairies they encountered among them, and the rise in violence against them after Sam calls them to investigate the murders of his shifter friends. Jason is determined to learn the truth behind the deaths of his parents. Andy, meanwhile, swears off sexy fairies to hold on to his blossoming relationship with Holly, the Wiccan. Lafayette is truly spooked by his brujo demon’s increasingly dangerous shenanigans. Compared to the long-tongued demon, his possession by Marnie was a cake walk! He turns to Jesus’ religious statues for solace but only hears mockery from them. Later, the disembodied head of Jesus, with a sutured mouth, appears to both Lafayette and his crazy mother (Alfre Woodard). Is Jesus trying to reach them from the other side with a warning?

Is Norah really the one who dug up King Russell?

Terry and Patrick are tied up by their paranoid friend Eller, who tells them a fire monster called The Ifrit is stalking the soldiers who took part in the drug-fueled slaughter of civilian Iraqis during their tour of duty years ago. Eller reminds Terry about a woman who survived the massacre long enough to curse them and their loved ones to death by The Ifrit. Terry remembers seeing the smoke creature rise up out of the flames that consumed the bodies of the victims after the soldiers tried to get rid of the evidence of their war crime. The guys convince Eller to untie them but as Terry and Patrick argue outside over the veracity of the Ifrit legend, the fire demon appears and claims Eller as its latest victim. Boy, these soldiers get dumber by the minute! Back in Bon Temps, Sam tells Luna about their friends’ mysterious murders and tells her to be careful. When he leaves, Sam is shot by a gang of masked hoodlums targeting shifters. Luna comes out to investigate what’s happening and is shot, too! Emma manages to get away by shifting into wolf pup form. Will Sam and Luna survive their wounds? Are the shooters human or supernatural? With all the vampires, werewolves, shifters, fairies, brujo demons and fire monsters hanging around, it’s anyone’s guess!

Pam taught Tara all about the dangers of getting too much sun.

July 1 – Pam shows up at the tanning salon in the nick of time to save Tara from the tanning bed’s lethal UV rays and commands her “child” to never try to killer herself again. Tara is stuck now that her maker has forced her to live as a vampire. Pam is relieved to find that Eric has returned to Fangtasia and introduces him to his grandchild. She sees that he has company, Bill, and is hurt when Eric accuses her of digging up Russell Edgington. She would never betray their trust and if he could think her capable of betraying him maybe he should release his hold on her. Maybe he will.  Pam may be in the clear, but Bill and Eric know that the person who led Russ’s liberators to his cement prison has to be in their inner circle so they search close to home. Bill and Jessica search their home for listening devices and Bill finds pot. Jess promises no humans have been injured or drained in her pursuit of fun. Bill’s just disappointed that she couldn’t score better weed. When Jess urges him to see Sookie, he realizes he’s done a fine job raising a baby vamp who has a good heart, like his. Saying that Sookie is having a bad day would be the understatement of the year. Lafayette reads her the riot act over the Tara mess and even calls her the angel of death! The combined guilt of having Tara turned and killing Debbie is driving Sook to the edge. She confesses to Jason, who won’t turn her into to Andy. Just as a bitter Tara says, everyone around Sook goes out of their way to protect her for better or worse. Picking up everybody’s judgmental thoughts at Merlotte’s doesn’t help matters. Lafayette’s brujo demon continues to show its ugly face when Lafayette gets mad and casts a spell on Sookie’s car that makes its brakes fail and almost kills her until she dives out before it crashes into a tree. A repentant Lafayette calls Sook after finding her car wreck and is relieved to learn that she’s safe, albeit drunk out of her mind. Thinks start to look up when Alcide, who told Debbie’s parents that Marcus Bozeman killed their daughter, drops by and accepts her grateful offer of a drink or two to end their bad day on a good, inebriated note. The two hit the sauce pretty hard and their playful banter leads to a passionate clinch that Bill and Eric arrive just in time to witness. Eric, who has released Pam from their bond to keep her safe should something happen to him, is free of commitments. I wonder how things will shake out between him, Bill and Sookie now that she’s cozied up to the cuddly werewolf. Will she regret it in the morning? Free of her progeny bond to Eric, Pam is tending to her new maternal duties with Tara and brings her a young woman to feed on. Tara continues to refuse to feed on humans but Pam won’t have her developing an eating disorder and commands her to feed. Tara discovers that she can’t get enough!

Roman showed The Authority’s youngest chancellor a permanent lesson in tough love.

At the Authority’s headquarters, a “pec-tacular” Roman, who’s clearly been keeping up with his workouts, continues to torture Norah, but she won’t divulge the name of her accomplice within the Authority’s inner circle. He and Salome team up, playing good-cop/bad-cop to get Norah to fess up. Roman threatens to end Eric with his automatic stake app while Salome plays on their long friendship, gently offering her word that Bill and Eric won’t be hurt if she divulges who else among the chancellors has betrayed the Authority’s efforts to mainstream vampires into society. Later, a tense meeting of the chancellors ends with Roman staking the Authority’s surprisingly brutal little-boy chancellor as he tries to explain away video evidence of his bad behavior. By the way, Apple must have paid huge bucks for their product placement deal with the True Blood producers because it seems every good vampire has one handy. In other Bon Temps news, Terry’s boring new storyline with Patrick takes them to South Dakota, where Terry’s dream reveals that his unit killed a bunch of civilians after a drunken confrontation between an innocent bystander and their buddy Eller spun way out of control. The two arrive at Eller’s place and discover a basement with weird paintings that may incriminate him in the fire attacks on their buddies. They also have an unexpected reunion with their former comrade, who’s aiming a shotgun at them! Sam’s shifter friends from last season drop by Merlotte’s to lure him into another naked horse run, which is their equivalent of swinging, I guess. When Sam shows up at their place for dinner he finds them dead. Can he never stay out of trouble?!  Jess helps Jason put an end to Andy’s investigation into Deb’s death by glamouring him. Later, Andy, Jason and Andy’s new judge friend go on a triple date with some hot chicks who turn out to be fairies. Their limo ride ends in the enchanted field that is the portal to fairyland and the gang ends up in a wild scene straight out of “Moulin Rouge” full of gorgeous male and female fairy dancers. Andy runs into Morella, the dark-haired fairy he made out with last season and Jason’s hookup with one of the girls is interrupted by his cousin Hadley, who lets it slip that his parents were actually killed by vampires. When Jason and Andy demand more answers, two male fairies get rough and toss them back through the portal back to Bon Temps. They light blast them for good measure, too!