Posts Tagged ‘Denis-O’Hare’

Chancellor Akinijide said the wrong thing at the wrong time to a Lilith-obsessed Bill.

August 19 – Things start to unravel for both the Authority and the fairies in the penultimate episode of the season and the body count is rising fast. Russell’s defection has left the chancellors in a prickly mood as Lilith starts to play some dangerous mind games. Bill hears a woman’s voice beckon to him and sees a blood-soaked Lilith tell him she chose him to lead the Authority and demands he drink all her blood that’s left in the glass flask. Bill gets a major vampire boner at the mere thought of drinking it but manages to restrain himself. He’s still fully submerged in the Sanguinista cult, however, as Jessica learns when Bill catches her trying to escape. When she lies that she wants to turn Jason, he calls her bluff and sends her to accomplish her mission accompanied by two Authority goons. When they catch up with Jason, Jessica fakes feeding on him which distracts the guards long enough to give Jason the chance to blow them away with silver bullets. Jess warns Jason that Bill and Eric have been brainwashed by the Authority and Jason heads off to warn Sookie in Fairyland. Jess hides out at Fangtasia, where she fills Pam in on Eric’s whereabouts. Pam reveals that Bill and Eric are exhibiting the signs of nesting, a phenomenon where vamps become homicidal after spending long periods in a cult. Jess and Tara’s attempt to renew their tenuous friendship is interrupted by the arrival of Roslyn, who is searching for the killer of her progeny Elijah. Pam confesses to being the culprit to protect Tara and is hauled away by Roslyn’s enforcers. On her way out, Roz catches Jessica and brings Bill’s wayward kid back to Authority headquarters. Unbeknownst to the chancellors, their ranks are being undermined by Lilith and Norah, who is brought back to the side of the good guys by recurring visions of Godric’s destruction at Lilith’s hands — and a helpful roll in the hay with Eric. When a human general shows up demanding to see Roman, the chancellors inform him they’ve gone Sanguinista and he counters that a video of Russell and Steve slaughtering members of a fraternity will be leaked to the press if anything happens to him. Eric sees an opportunity to knock the chancellors off-balance by killing the general. In the ensuing panic, he and Norah escape to plot their next move as fugitives from the Authority. Bill comes across chancellor Akinijide worshiping Lilith’s blood and destroys him in a rage when Kibwe says Lilith chose him to lead the Sanguinista movement. It appears Lil is pitting the chancellors against each other and also goes to Salome with her “you’re the one” act. The inevitable confrontation between Bill and Salome will surely be a good one to behold.

Can Andy and Holly overcome the fact that he’s got a half-fairy love child on the way?

In non-vampire news, Arlene and Terry are blissful in the wake of the whole Ifrit mess and give Andy relationship advice just in time for Andy’s one-night-fairy-stand Maurella to show up preggers and demanding he do right by her. Maurella’s petrified of Russell’s fairy hunt and wants a big strong human cop to protect her. A shirtless Alcide, his chiseled muscles glistening in the sunlight, is staying at his embittered wolf dad’s farm when a fellow werewolf shows up to warn them about bands of recently turned vamps who are attacking livestock. When Alcide takes off after a group of vampires on the hunt, his dad pitches in and helps him fend off the bloodsuckers with a crossbow. There may be hope for Papa Hervaux after all. Sam and Luna find Emma, locked in her adorable wolf pup form, in a holding pen full of caged naked humans waiting to be served as meals to the Authority. When guards capture them, Sam volunteers to be taken to Bill as his next meal, leaving Luna behind to figure out how to bust Emma out. In Fairyland, Sookie gets an audience with the music-obsessed Elder fairy (played by Erica Gimple of the TV series Fame in a kooky performance). The Elder knew Sook’s great-great-grandfather and is about to tell her something juicy about M. Warlow when Jason arrives to warn Sookie about Russ. The Elder is not pleased to hear that Russell’s still alive. Sookie convinces the fairies that they need to take a stand and combine their light powers against Russell’s inevitable attack. Jason and Sookie cook up a plan for Jason to lure Russell into the line of fire. When the moment of truth arrives, the Elder decides to take on Russ and Steve alone. She easily flings Steve across the field with her power but a cagey Russell deflects her next spell using Jason as a shield and manages to sink his fangs into her, draining her instantly. Supercharged on the Elder’s potent blood, Russ is able to see into the fairies’ dimension and feasts his eyes on the delightful sight of fairies galore. Dinner is served!  Next up: the season finale of True Blood!

Pam’s happy face looks just like her mad face.

July 29 – Jason stops Sookie from depleting her fairy light by making her realize her powers may help them discover the identity of the vampire who killed their parents. Sookie’s fairy powers make her special, he reminds her. The two return to Fairyland to enlist the help of the fairies and the tinkerbells form a circle of energy that enables Sook to experience what her mother saw the night she was killed. Sook sees the vamp, but can’t make out his features, then, when her mother dies in the flashback, Sook sees the proceedings from the vamp’s point of view and feels the blast of her dead fairy godmother Claudine, who attacked the vampire, calling him Warlo. Sookie later sees a ghostly version of Warlo floating above her in her bathroom. Does the vamp sense that the Stackhouse siblings are hot on his trail? Jessica has a close call when she picks up a hot fangbanger at Fangtasia who turns out to be one of the hate group members who lured her into a trap to be presented to Hoyt bound in silver chains for execution. Hoyt spares her life but is still bitter when she admits that her love for him has died. In other Fangtasia news, Tara, who is looking more glamorous as the weeks go by, has a nasty reunion with a bitchy and racist acquaintance from high school. Although Pam stops Tara from being rude to the customer, she later presents the woman, chained up, to Tara as her personal feeding station. A delighted Tara, who thought Pam was upset with her, learns that Pam’s mad face looks just like her happy one and dives into her meal with gusto. Also diving into things is Alcide, who has two vigorous tussles with very different results. First, he and Rikki give in to their simmering animal attraction and have a hot round of perfect-bodied wolf sex. Alcide may have a new mate, but he may not live long enough to enjoy her if J.D. has anything to say about it. Knowing Alcide’s morals are his weak spot, J.D. challenges him to a hunt where the prey is a young human track star. Alcide refuses to participate and tries to stop J.D. when the hunt goes on. A juiced-up J.D. gets the best of Alcide during their fight but is stopped from killing him by Martha and the rest of the pack. How will Alcide bounce back from this humiliating defeat? Luna has a pretty bad day herself when her skincrawling morphing ability kicks in from all the stress over the shifter hunters and she turns into Sam! She steals some clothes to sneak out of the hospital while clueless folks don’t notice that although she looks like Sam she still walks like Luna. At the jail, Sam is interrogating a hate group member in the form of a cobra when Luna shows up and freaks him out. Looking on at the weird sight of Sam and his lookalike girlfriend, Andy woefully says he hates living in freaky Bon Temps.

Can Arlene save Terry from the curse of the Ifrit?

Lafayette has a loving reunion with the spirit of Jesus as he’s driving home and gets hired by Arlene and Holly to break the fire monster curse hovering over Terry. The girls are hopeful that a séance with Lafayette will convince Terry that he’s not doomed. Lafayette plays along for a pay-day but the séance, with Terry and Patrick present, becomes the real thing when Lafayette channels the spirit of the Iraqi woman, who reveals that the only way the curse of the Ifrit can be lifted is if either Terry or Patrick is killed as a sacrifice. An eye for an eye, as it were. The girls aren’t happy with Lafayette’s performance. Neither is Patrick, who runs out like a bat out of hell. How appropriate. At the Authority headquarters, the chancellors are basking in the afterglow of their feeding orgy and begin plotting the overthrow of the mainstreaming movement worldwide. Steve Newlin and Russell seem to be contemplating maneuvers of a different sort when a bossy Salome reminds Russ that it’s time to work. Has the Vampire King found a replacement for his late partner Talbot? Salome is exerting her newfound power in very pushy ways, like forcing Bill to feed on a human woman. While the chancellors strategize their next move, Bill comes up with the diabolical idea of bombing True Blood factories to force the mainstreamers to feed on humans. The chancellors love the idea. Eric can’t believe his ears. Has Bill turned to the dark side or is this the first step in a brilliant plan to defeat the sanguinistas? Stay tuned!

Is this the end of Queen Sophie-Anne?

Riveting Revelations

September 12: Eric and King Russell are smokin’ like two strips of bacon on a frying pan outside Fangtasia when Eric’s maker Godric appears urging him to forgive Russ and set him free. Eric ponders his predicament for a second or two before Sookie rescues him, using her fairy blast to free him from the handcuffs he had slapped on himself and Russ. Sook then revives Eric by letting him feed on her blood while Bill sulks. Although Pam and Sookie balk at the idea, Eric decides they should spare King Russell’s life and Sook drags him inside and subdues the charred vampire monarch with heavy silver chains. What will they do with him now? Tara and Sam are basking in the afterglow of their tryst when you can practically hear the screeching tires after Sam confides that he’s a shapeshifter. Tara can’t seem to avoid dealing with supernatural beings any where she turns. She walks in on her annoying mom getting frisky with the pastor who had previously tried to minister to her. Although initially shocked at her mom’s indiscretion, Tara nevertheless wishes her well, wistfully hoping she, too, can find someone who is human and can actually touch a cross for a change. Sam tracks down Tommy and demands he return the Merlotte’s loot. When Tommy turns to walk away, Sam shoots him! Like his cousin Tara, Lafayette is making some uncomfortable discoveries now that he can see visions of the secrets haunting the residents of Bon Temps. Spooked by his new talent, he turns to Jesus, who confesses that he himself is a brujo, a male practitioner of witchcraft. As they say, birds of a feather!  Hoyt’s mom Mrs. Fortenberry stages an intervention to separate him from Jessica once and for all. The gamble fails and Hoyt buys a house to shack up with Jess. Mrs. Fortenberry’s response is to buy a rifle. Might it have silver bullets? 

Can Sookie really be happy in Fairyland without Bill or Eric?

Cementing King Russell’s Fate

Jason hightails it over to Hotshot to warn its residents of the DEA’s impending raid. Crystal’s ornery dad is no help, as usual, but gets the tables turned on him when Crystal’s V-addicted ex shows up in a craze and shoots his face off. When he demands Crystal leave with him, she agrees, asking Jason to take responsibility for looking after the panther people. Jason vows to get her back. At Fangtasia, things are jumping. Alcide visits Sookie and tells her he’s been thinking about her. Sook, who’s just about had it with the chaos that comes with dating vampires, may just be receptive to his overtures. Bill senses that he has a new rival for Sookie’s affections. The first order of business for the team, however, is figuring out how to imprison King Russell without ending him. Sook has no sympathy for him and responds to his attempts to manipulate her by trashing Talbot’s remains in Fangtasia’s garbage dispenser while Russ screams in agony. His Royal Toupee has worse problems when Eric and Bill dump him in a remote construction site and immobilize him with silver while burying him undead in cement. Ever the drama queen, Russell vows to get even with them all when he returns… glug, glug, glug. With Russ swimming in concrete, Bill ambushes Eric and pushes him into a slot right next to the King, telling Eric that he can never have Sookie. He then orders a hit on Pam. Bill intends  to eliminate anyone who learned that Sookie is a fairy to keep her secret from spreading, but Eric escapes Bill’s trap and tells Sook how Bill manipulated their romance from the start at the instructions of Queen Sophie-Anne, who wants to taste her coveted fairy blood. A fed-up Sookie rescinds her invitations to both vampires and orders them out of her life. Eric seems genuine when he apologizes to Sook for tattling on Bill. Bill, still intent on protecting Sookie, lures the newly widowed (and loving it) Queen Sophie-Anne to his house for a death match. Later, a lonely Sook visits her grandma’s grave and is approached by her fairy friend Claudine. After all the drama and danger that accompanied her romance with Bill, Claudine’s outstretched hand is a welcome sight that’s too good to resist.  In a blinding flash, Sookie and the fairies disappear. Will Bill and Eric ever see her again? Tune in next summer. The Biting Remarks blog is taking a break until then. Have a great fall!

 Photos copyright 2010 Home Box Office, Inc. All rights reserved.

Will Sam and Tara regret their latest fling?

Acting on an Impulse

August 29: Pam gets a little action when Bill shows up at Fangtasia to rescue Sookie. During the ensuing melee, she compensates for not being as old and strong as Bill by spraying him in the face with liquid silver. While Bill and Pam tussle upstairs, Fangtasia’s stripper, still fuming at Eric for calling her a gold-digger, unshackles Sookie and the Sookster sneaks up on Pam, choking her with a silver chain. Sook makes a getaway with her man while Pam pleads to not be left alone with “the immigrant.” Not a smart move if you ask me, Pammy. The stripper isn’t the only one ticked off in Bon Temps. Sam shows up at Merlotte’s totally plastered and insults everyone within sight. Tara, still smarting from learning that Jason and Andy covered up the truth behind Eggs’ death, is hittin’ the sauce pretty hard and sticks around when Sam throws out the patrons and staff. It doesn’t take a clairvoyant to predict what happens next. Sam and Tara are too busy doing naked gymnastics to notice an alarm set off by a vengeful Tommy breaking into the Merlotte’s safe. Sam’s drunken tirade will cost him dearly! Also heating things up are the newly reunited Jessica and Hoyt. Jess confesses to Hoyt that she is addicted to human blood, he offers himself up to satisfy her craving. He seems to enjoy it when she lustily accepts his gallant offer. Hoyt’s annoying mom, who recruited the mousy gal whom he dated for a blip to try to get over Jess, is still determined to keep him away from her. Something tells me her plotting will soon take a dangerous turn.

Is this really the end for Eric Northman?

Sunburn

Holly and Arlene conduct a Wiccan ritual to concoct some mystical solution to Arlene’s unwanted pregnancy. When Arlene bleeds out in bed, the baby survives the emergency to her consternation. Was the blood some sort of spirit draining from the child orchestrated by Holly? She’s a freak, if you ask me. Her interest in Arlene is spooky and too conveniently timed. I suspect she’s a relative of Rene’s plotting to resurrect him or exact revenge upon the Bon Temps residents responsible for his death. In other Bon Temps news, Jason comes to terms with the fact that Crystal is part of a community of were-panthers (so what else is new?) and deduces that the smarmy jock who’s been breaking all his sports records is using V to enhance his performance. Lafayette comes down from his V trip with Jesus and has a horrible vision of a monster in place of his newly addicted boyfriend. Could it be Jesus’ true nature? Bill and Sookie have a heart-to-heart about the ramifications of recent events on their relationship. Sook admits that she has feelings for Eric but that she still loves Bill. She also acknowledges that she’ll have a hard time trusting either of them after the Russell Edgington thing, not knowing that the final act in that drama is about to play out.  Eric pays Russ a visit and shares his quest for revenge, which tickles the vampire monarch with its silliness. Before His Royal Toupee can administer his punishment, Eric promises to share with him the secret to walking during daylight in exchange for letting him live. Next thing you know, the two literally stop Bill and Sookie in their tracks and hightail it back to Fangtasia, where Eric fakes a fight with Bill to distract Russ while he clues Bill in on his plan to double-cross the king. Eric tells Russ that Sook’s blood will grant him immunity from sunlight. The two feed on Sookie while a tense Bill and Pam look on. Russ, crafty as ever, makes Eric test his theory first. The Viking vamp walks out into the sunlight and smiles into the security cameras as if all is well. In truth, Eric’s skin is slowly frying, but he covers his agony to dupe King Russell into joining him outside. As soon as the evil vamp takes the bait, Eric handcuffs them together as they drop to their knees like two vampire eggs on a frying pan! Tune in September 12 for the season finale!

Photos from the True Blood Wiki; copyright 2010 Home Box Office, Inc. All rights reserved.

What horrible retribution does Russell have planned for Eric and the gang?

Who You Callin’ a Fairy?

August 22: It’s official — Sookie is a fairy. Technically she’s half fairy and half human, not that she’s terribly impressed by the revelation coming from Bill. She’s further irked by the insinuation that the reason all the vamps are going bonkers for her, including Bill, is because fairy blood is particularly delicious to their undead palates. Bill assures her that although his attraction to her may have been provoked by this, their bond has evolved beyond mere bloodlust. For some reason, Bill isn’t totally honest about the cold reception he got from Sook’s fellow fairy Claudine in fairyland. Does he have something to hide? At least Sook can take consolation in the fact that she’s a kick-ass fairy. A bitter Tara certainly wouldn’t mind kicking Bill’s ass along with those of vamps everywhere. She gets some solace from Sookie when she tells her the whole story about her nightmare with Freaky Franklin, but her gratitude toward a guilt-wracked Jason quickly dissolves upon hearing his confession that he was the one who fatally shot Eggs last season. The drama between Jason and Tara distracts them from looking after Sookie as Bill had requested and Miss Stackhouse pays Eric Northman a visit. Eric, preparing for his inevitable showdown with King Russell, is getting his affairs in order and drafts a new will leaving his entire estate to Pam, who is not pleased with her sire’s pessimistic attitude. Give Russell what he wants — Sookie, she urges, reasoning that the King will get her anyway. Maybe and maybe not, thinks Eric. Sookie, who continues to have sexy dreams about Eric, finally gets a taste of the real thing when the Viking vamp hungrily plants some kisses on her and she responds. Remembering the potency of her fairy blood, she pulls away before things can progress further.

Russell’s Unfinished Business

The gang at Merlotte’s is in emotional upheaval, as usual. Sam’s attack on Crystal’s white-trash father stirs memories of his larcenous past when he used his shapeshifting ability to pull off thefts. When he was betrayed by a beautiful woman, his revenge on her and her lover was deadly. Tommy, who shares Sam’s rage issues, gets into a tussle with Hoyt after he shows up at Merlotte’s trying to reconcile with Jessica yet again. Hurt by her most recent rejection, Hoyt wastes no time in clocking Tommy when the annoying brat teases him. Tommy, however, strikes back in pitbull form and mangles Hoyt’s hand. Pulling Tommy off her man, Jessica admits that she still has feelings for Hoyt and gives him her blood to heal his wounds. Tommy’s not pleased by their touching reunion. Arlene confesses to Terry that her baby is really Rene’s, but Terry vows to raise the child as his own. Arlene, despite her incessant whining and bad dye job, really lucked out with that guy! Lafayette and Jesus take Crystal’s battered dad to Lafayette’s place after realizing he’ll never make it to the hospital alive. After Lafayette saves his worthless life by giving him V, Crystal’s dad can only spew homophobic slurs at this saviors and reads his daughter the riot act for daring to “mix” with Jason when her “mate” was already preselected. Lafayette and Jesus take hits of V, which takes them on a psychedelic mindtrip that reveals witchcraft figured in both their family histories. Perhaps Lafayette is some sort of shaman. Bill confronts Jason about losing track of Sook, only to be banished from Jason’s place when he rescinds the welcome he granted Bill. Jason’s next visitor is a striking black panther who turns out to be Crystal. Is it my imagination or is Bon Temps becoming some sort of zoo for supernatural animals? What’s in the water, anyway? King Russell’s TV tantrum is causing all sorts of havoc nationwide and Nan Flanagan is back on air trying to put out the fires being fanned by the likes of the zealots from the Brotherhood of the Sun, who are jumping on the PR disaster to push along their anti-vamp agenda. Russ, meanwhile, takes a moment to bid his beloved Talbot a proper farewell by using the body of a lookalike hustler as a vessel for his lamented consort. At Fangtasia, Eric scoops up Sookie and leaves her shackled and screaming in the hidden dungeon. I’m convinced he loves her.

Photo: from the True Blood Wiki. Copyright 2010 Home Box Office, Inc. All rights reserved.

How can Eric hope to come up against a vengeful 3000-year-old vampire?

Authority Rules

 

August 15: Nan Flanagan, the eerily mainstream spokesperson for The Vampire Authority who appears on TV lobbying for passage of the Vampire Rights Amendment, shows up at Fangtasia looking like a military dominatrix and demanding answers about The Magister’s murder. She’s not too pleased to have been dragged to Louisiana by Eric’s latest shenanigans and makes him testify via cam for the mysterious members of the Authority. As Pam sits close by with extraordinarily buoyant hair, Eric shares King Russell Edgington’s mad plans to put an end to the Authority’s diplomatic relations with humans and his role in killing the Magister and Eric’s father. Nan isn’t totally convinced and puts Eric and Pam under coffin arrest while the Authority mulls over his testimony. Bill and Sookie are having a far better time washing off the bloody signs of their vigorous makeup sex. Arriving downstairs, they encounter the naked corpse of one of the wolves killed in the previous night’s battle. Sook laments that their relationship will never be free of life-threatening encounters and dead bodies floating around. Bill’s not sure that’s a bad thing. Still, Sook’s not comfortable with the secret file he was keeping on her and her family. Bill tells her that it’s important to learn the secret to her true nature in order to protect her from the supernatural beings so intent on using her abilities for their own gain.  Clues to Sookie’s identity come from Cousin Hadley, who asks her to check out her little boy, and is terrified to learn that he has gifts like Sookie, too. Bill comes closer to learning the truth about Sook when he wakes from his rest to enter the mystery world Sookie had visited earlier and encounters the same fairylike woman who urged Sook to dump him. When the woman attempts to flee, Bill’s vamp instinct kicks in and his fangs flare out as he tackles her. Unlike Sookie, this woman has mastered her light power and blasts Bill with enough force to fling him a good distance away from her. She warns him not to mess with Sookie, despite his assurances that he means her no harm. 

Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

Arlene is having a rough day at Merlotte’s, as usual. She accuses Tommy of stealing half her tips and confides in the new waitress Holly that her unborn child is Rene’s. When Holly suggests the possibility of ending the pregnancy, Arlene resigns herself to giving birth to what she believes will be an evil child. Does Holly have plans for it? Tara, still traumatized by her experience with Freaky Franklin, is happy that Lafayette is dating Jesus, but attends a support group for rape survivors where she runs into Holly. Tara has good reason to be on edge. Sam has his hands full trying to reign in Tommy and the pressure gets to him so much that he nearly beats Crystal’s father to death when he shows up at Merlotte’s to take her back home. Crystal’s “people” want her back badly. Her ex shows up and she clocks him with a rifle when Jason distracts him. Crystal makes sure they bind her ex with ropes rather than handcuffs when they leave him tied to a tree by the road. When they call the precinct to have him picked up, he’s missing, and the deputy who showed up on the scene was beaten to a pulp. Jason can only wonder how Crystal’s ex got free of the ropes. Shapeshifting, perhaps? When the ambulance takes Crystal’s dad to the hospital, Tara is confronted by Franklin, who hasn’t quite yet met the real death. Shivering with fear, a defiant Tara faces down her psychotic tormentor and Jason shows up just in time to blow him to bloody smithereens with a wooden bullet through the heart. Is Jason finally getting some smarts? Can Franklin room with Lorena in the vampire afterlife? Also dealing with a bloody mess is King Russell, who screams in agony upon seeing what’s left of Talbot back at the mansion. He vows to Talbot’s innards that he will take revenge against his Bon Temps enemies. Nan makes things easier for Russ by ordering Eric to clean up the mess he made with His Royal Toupee. As far as The Authority’s concerned, Eric is on his own. On her way out of town, Nan’s snacking on a sexy girl’s thigh is interrupted when Russ takes over a national TV newscast, rips out the anchorman’s spine and puts the human race on notice that vampires will rise up to eat them and their children. Then he introduces the weather segment.

Photo Copyright 2010 Home Box Office, Inc. All rights reserved.

Will Sookie miss Alcide's bodily warmth?

Visions of the Past

August 8: Sookie and Bill realize their relationship is doomed and break up at the hospital. When Bill returns home, Jessica is happy to see him and won’t let him set her free, begging him to not leave her alone. Bill teaches his vampire offspring to move at superspeed in preparation for King Russell’s anticipated return to retrieve Sookie, but he won’t reconsider their break up despite Jess’s urging. A vengeful Debbie and her wolf cronies burn down Alcide’s sister’s beauty salon, so Alcide has to return to Jackson. Hesitant to leave Sookie unprotected, he nevertheless has a very warm farewell scene with her. Luckily we fans know that Joe Manganiello has been upgraded to series regular next season. Things are hopping over at Merlotte’s where Arlene, who’s having visions of her murderous ex Rene, hires a new waitress named Holly – who suspiciously knows that Arlene’s with child – and promptly warns Sam not to sleep with her. Sam is too preoccupied with looking after Tommy, who is in Bon Temps to stay now that Mama and Daddy Pickens have left. Tommy’s dogfighting instincts are still kicking in whenever Hoyt shows up and both he and Sam sniff some animal scent on Crystal’s dad and ex-fiance when they show up looking for her. Crystal’s too busy seeking solace from Jason, who confronts her dad with a shotgun and a warning to stay out of her life. Dad’s not planning on accommodating Jason’s request anytime soon. Tara is tormented by visions of Franklin. Lafayette is visited by his mom, who escaped from the old folks’ home, and Jesus, who shows up to reclaim her. When Lafayette explains to Jesus that quitting V pushing isn’t easy, Jesus just pulls him in for a kiss… and more.

Eric Gives it to Talbot

Speaking of man love, Talbot is having a hissy fit over the fact that Queen Sophie-Ann is moving in to his increasingly crowded mansion. Maybe she can have Lorena’s old room? To placate Talbot while King Russell travels to Bon Temps to recapture Sookie, Eric agrees to stay behind and keep him company. I wonder how they’ll kill the time? Eric knows what he’d like to kill. Sookie gets a warning from cousin Hadley – sent by Eric — that Russell is on his way. When His Royal Toupee arrives with Debbie and a pair of werewolves, Sookie’s home becomes a battleground. Sookie and Deb finally go mano a mano in Sook’s bedroom while Bill and Jessica show up to protect her from the wolves downstairs. When one of the werewolves leads Jess out of Sook’s house, Russell grabs her and offers her life to Bill in exchange for Sook. Bill goads Russ into hand-to-hand combat, but he’s again no match for the much older vampire king. Just as Russell prepares to finish Bill, he’s pulled away by the sudden destruction of Talbot, who was staked by Eric just as their naked encounter was getting interesting back at the mansion. Sookie’s knockdown brawl with Debbie ends when Sook lets the skanky she-wolf leave.  All the fighting leaves everyone in a frenzy. Jessica drains the wolf that dared hunt her down while Bill and Sookie have a heated reunion and go at it like monkeys on a honeymoon.

 Photo: Copyright 2010 Home Box Office, Inc. All rights reserved.

Will Talbot be able to clean up the bloodstains on the carpet of his royal mansion?

The Big Gusher

July 25: Is it my imagination or was this the bloodiest episode of True Blood yet? No matter where you looked there seemed to be overflowing blood. There was action aplenty, too. Bill springs into action at King Russell’s mansion, staking the vampire bodyguard and trying to get the jump on Russ. Unfortunately, Sookie’s man is no physical match for the 3,000-year-old vampire monarch, who swats him away like a fly. Talbot gets majorly bitchy about how the fighting is making a royal mess of his beautiful home. His Royal Toupee orders Lorena to kill Bill and tends to his consort’s ruffled feathers. Later, he questions Sookie about her unique abilities. On the way to Louisiana to visit Queen Sophie-Ann, Russell confides in Eric his desire to unite all the supernatural beings in a war against humans. Eric humors the King, biding his time until the opportunity to strike presents itself. Queenie is understandably miffed when Russ and Eric show up and inform her that her guards are dead and that her human companion – Sookie’s cousin — is held captive. Her skin crawls at the mere thought of marrying His Royal Toupee, regardless of how much debt she’s in, but an angry Eric, no longer respectful of her upon learning she set him up about the V dealing, overpowers her and forces her to reconsider. Will the blushing bride wear black to the ceremony? 

Tara Fights Back

In Bon Temps, Jason and Crystal are making out by the lake when she smells something (or someone) in the air and bids a hasty retreat. When he tracks her down to a shabby house, he’s greeted by a grimy, shirtless hunk whom she claims is her fiancée. Crystal denies ever meeting Jason, who is clueless, as usual. Lafayette has similar luck with Jesus, when, after some sexy double entendres over pool and kissing in his car, they go back to his house. Their romantic clinch is suddenly interrupted by the racist V junkies who keep stalking him. The bat-wielding hicks bash his new car but, with Jesus’ help, Lafayette chases them off. Learning that Lafayette deals V is a deal breaker for Jesus, however. Sam figures out that the Mickens are forcing Tommy to compete in illegal dogfights in his pit-bull form and races to stop them. Jessica, meanwhile, shows that she’s learning to feed on humans without killing them by taking a bite out of an annoying woman who mistreats Arlene at Merlotte’s.  Back in Jackson, Lorena and Bill are bound together in a sadistic scene of mind games as she carries out King Russell’s orders by slowly bleeding him out with surgical knives. She can’t resist the chance to mix her blood with his even though he berates her for her psychotic ways and begs her to kill him quickly. Lorena instead lets V-starved Coot and Debbie gorge on Bill’s blood. Also getting a taste of vamp blood is Tara, who seduces Franklin into untying her and letting her bite him without the benefit of vampire fangs. It is not a pretty sight. The next morning, Tara bashes his head in and helps Sookie escape. Sprinting out into the mansion’s beautiful grounds like an Olympian, Tara runs into a majestic white wolf, who luckily is a majestically naked Alcide coming to the rescue. Sookie gets a less hospitable greeting when she tries to free Bill from his blood-soaked shackles. “This is all your fault,” spits a livid Lorena as she sinks her fangs into her rival’s pretty neck.

 Photo: Copyright 2010 Home Box Office, Inc. All rights reserved.

Will Lafayette see through Franklin's fake text message and save Tara from a life as a modestly dressed vampire bride?

The Ties that Bind

July18: You might say that Tara (Rutina Wesley) isn’t a gal who likes to get tied down, but since she hooked up with Franklin (James Frain) she hasn’t had much choice in the matter. Sookie’s bad-luck buddy is tied to a chair when Bill (Stephen Moyer) arrives with King Russell (Denis O’Hare) and Lorena (Mariana Klaveno) from draining the poor stripper at the end of last week’s episode. Tara is shocked when Bill refuses to help her escape. We learn a few things about His Royal Toupee, all of them bad. He’s Franklin’s mysterious employer and, even though he disapproves of Franklin’s bad habit of fixating on human females, he admires the quality of his work. He’s especially pleased to learn that Sookie’s in Jackson. Franklin, meanwhile, isn’t happy at all when Tara tries to escape her bindings in bed, only to be recaptured by a wolfed-out Coot (Grant Bowler). Freaky Frankie cries tears of blood in his anger and disappointment in Tara, who tries to manipulate him into granting her more freedom to roam around the King’s royal pad. Frankie relents, but she’s not too keen on the matronly dress he forces her to wear and her hosts’ flowery meal plan for humans.  She’s also not too jazzed about Frankie’s plan to make her his modestly dressed vampire bride for eternity. Where’s a maniacal maenad when you need one? Back in Bon Temps, Tara’s boss Sam (Sam Trammell) is busy breaking in his new hostess Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll), who, annoyed at Arlene’s vamp-phobic put-downs, glamours her customers into not giving her tips. Jess also isn’t happy when Hoyt shows up at Merlotte’s with a dippy date but Tommy, unimpressed by Hoyt, pumps up her fragile ego with some sweet talkin’. How will he feel when he finds out that Jess is damned to be an eternal virgin? And what’s up with boozy Daddy Pickens yelling at Sam that he “owns” Tommy? Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) gets a visit from a love-struck Jesus (Kevin Alejandro), who spends the afternoon at Merlotte’s just to be near him.  At police headquarters, Jason (Ryan Kwanten) shows up for his first day on the force and spends it playing with office equipment. He’s much more stimulated when, shirtless and glistening, he spots the pretty blonde he’d seen in the woods during his drug bust with Andy and pulls her over, using his non-existent cop credentials to pump her for information, getting only her name – Crystal. Later that night, he spots her outside Merlotte’s and they take a walk to the lake, evoking memories of Sam’s ill-fated fling with Maryann’s pig girl Daphne last year. Taking things slowly as usual, Jason bangs Crystal while leaning against a tree, noting that she seems like an outdoorsy girl. Might she be one of the werepanthers written about in this week’s TV Guide? Hello kitty, indeed.

The Viking’s Vengeance

Sookie (Anna Paquin) and Alcide (Joe Manganiello) escape the werewolves celebrating Debbie’s initiation and argue over his devotion to the trashy she-wolf. Alcide maintains that she was a good gal — when she wasn’t drinkin’ and cheatin’ on him, that is. To her credit, skanky Debbie shows up to urge Alcide to leave Jackson while he still has his fur intact, but she loses it when Sook emerges from the bedroom. Sookie isn’t too happy when Deb offers to cut her up, but she advises her to return to Alcide anyway. I think Deb just needs to be deloused. Alcide clearly needs counseling. Sook and Alcide visit some old guy named the Pack Master for guidance on how to handle King Russell’s schemes, but Sookie picks up on the senior wolf’s fear of his Royal Toupee’s power. Russ, we learn, has been using werewolves to do his evil bidding for centuries. While the King plots to get his hands on Sookie, Eric (Alexander Skarsgard) shows up at the mansion looking for Bill to serve him up to the Vampire Magister back in Bon Temps in exchange for Pam’s undead life. He’s pleased to learn that Bill has renounced his ties to Louisiana — and Sookie – to remain in Jackson as His Royal Toupee’s sheriff. Russell invites Eric to stay, to the delight of a visibly smitten Talbot (Theo Alexander) who gives him a very personal tour of Casa Edgington. Eric discovers that The King has the crown his Viking father wore the night he and the rest of Eric’s family were slaughtered by bloodthirsty werewolves commanded by a hooded figure. Will Eric use Talbot’s man crush on him to deliver a long-delayed revenge on King Russell? Is the Pope Catholic? Elsewhere, The King, accompanied by Coot and one of his vampire bodyguards, barges in on Bill’s bittersweet reunion with Sookie. After overpowering Alcide and Bill, the King and Coot corner Sook, who zaps the Cootster with her mysterious light beam to King Russell’s delight. The display confirms his hunch that Sookie is definitely something special. I still say she’s an earthbound angel. Stay tuned, Truebies!

Photo: Copyright 2010 Home Box Office, Inc. All rights reserved.

 

Is the Vampire King of Mississippi wearing a toupee?

New Folks in Town

June 20: It seemed like everyone was meeting newcomers with secret agendas in this episode while a few faces from the past made surprising appearances. Bill (Stephen Moyer) proves more than a match for the wolf pack, leaving nearly all of them dead and naked before the Vampire King of Mississippi Russell Edgington (Denis O’Hare) shows up on horseback to reign in his lupine henchmen, just in time to save the very buff hide of lead wolf Coot (Grant Bowler of Ugly Betty). The King takes Bill back to his lavish mansion where he and his flamboyant husband Talbot (Theo Alexander) explain to Bill at dinner that he was kidnapped so that the King could offer him a job as sheriff of Mississippi. His Royal Toupee also wants Bill’s assistance in forcing Queen Sophie-Anne to marry him to unite their two vampire kingdoms. Bill refuses, telling the King that he doesn’t know Queenie’s dirty little secrets. Things get heated and fangs are bared when the King hints at hurting Sookie. They deteriorate further when that annoying Lorena (Mariana Klaveno) shows up in time for dessert. Bill welcomes his maker-tormentor by throwing an oil lamp at her, instantly setting her on fire. Cherries jubilee, anyone?

Back in Bon Temps, Sookie (Anna Paquin) tries to distract herself while waiting for word on Bill’s whereabouts. Eric (Alexander Skarsgard), who is in no rush to get Bill back in Sook’s life, clams up about the Nazi werewolf cult when Sook and Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) show up at Fangtasia with the news of their discovery at the crash site, but has a bloody flashback to his werewolf-hunting days with his maker Godric (Allan Hyde) in the 1940s. Clearly there’s more to these wolves than meets the eye.  While Eric and Sookie talk, Jessica takes advantage of some girl time in the ladies room with Pam (Kristin Bauer) to grill her elder vamp on how to avoid killing humans when feeding on them and, hypothetically speaking of course, how one would go about disposing of a dead body. After tearfully rejecting Hoyt’s latest attempt at reconciliation, Jess manages to share her crypt with the rotting corpse of her victim by spraying it liberally with Lysol. Later, she rents a chainsaw to chop it up, but discovers that it’s gone! Is there a new vampire in town? 

Now that Eric has convinced Sookie to invite him into her home, will he take advantage?

Family Issues

Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) saves Tara (Rutina Wesley) yet again and takes her to a long-term care facility for mental patients to meet his rambling mom Ruby (Alfre Woodard). The meeting has the desired effect and Tara promises to make an effort to get her act together and try to overcome the endless string of disasters that befall her. Lafayette and Ruby’s caretaker, a handsome orderly named Jesus (Kevin Alejandro), take note of each other. Something tells me Lafayette will be visiting his mamma more frequently in the near future. It doesn’t take Tara long to find new trouble at Merlotte’s. Hanging out on her day off so she doesn’t get tempted to kill herself again, she meets a mysterious stranger (are there any other kind?) who orders a bottle of Tru Blood and quizzes her about Bill. Unbeknownst to her, the cowboy-booted dude was rifling through some old photos and documents tracing Sookie’s family history. In another twist, he turns out to be a vampire who comes to Tara’s aid against two racist drunks outside Merlotte’s. Is he befriending Tara to get closer to Sookie? And if so, could he be working for someone who has a grudge against Sook?  Jason (Ryan Kwanten), accompanying Andy on a drug bust, also meets a stranger, a beautiful young woman who disappears into the woods when he turns to help his cop friend collar a drug dealer. Is Sookie’s brother about to get involved with a she-wolf?  In Arkansas, Sam (Sam Trammell) finally meets his family, the Pickens (at rifle-point), and may regret ever having tracked them down. It turns out mom and baby brother Tommy are both shifters while dad is just plain shifty. Taking a dog run with his sibling as a first attempt at bonding, Sam, in collie form, is nearly run over by a truck and he suspects his bitter little bro may have set him up. Tommy bears some serious scars that he attributes to fighting, but it seems his emotional scars may run far deeper. Back in Bon Temps, Terry (Todd Lowe) tries to convince a pregnant Arlene (Carrie Preston) of his fitness to be a caregiver for her kids even though she’s distracted by morning sickness. Ever the nice guy, Terry also gives Sookie a gun for protection. Sook handles the firearm like a pro, which comes in handy when a protective Eric shows up at her home and convinces her to invite him in. The two come upon a werewolf waiting in the dark for Sookie. As the snarling animal pounces, Eric springs into action and Sookie shoots her gun. Stay tuned, Truebies!

Photos copyright 2010 Home Box Office, Inc. All rights reserved.