Posts Tagged ‘Eggs’


Can Sookie and Jessica rescue Bill from the werewolves?

Naked Boys on Parade

June 13: Serving up an extra dose of naked, shirtless and randy hunks, True Blood returned for its third season, picking up where it left off last fall. In the wake of Bill’s disappearance, Sookie (Anna Paquin) is having a hell of a time trying to drum up sympathy for her plight from the folks of Bon Temps. The deputy taking her statement thinks Bill (Stephen Moyer) skipped out on her. Sheriff Dearborne (William Sanderson) brushes off her suspicions that Lorena kidnapped Bill and would rather solve missing persons cases involving humans and Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) is busy trying to figure out a way to do away with the body of the jerk she accidentally killed in last season’s finale. It turns out that Sook’s lover boy was swiped by a gang of scruffy V-Juice junkies who are draining a shirtless Bill in a scene looking suspiciously like a leatherman orgy, pinched nipples and all. Those True Blood writers do love their gay innuendo, don’t they? Bill manages to escape them by causing them to crash and buries himself to recover from his injuries. A frustrated Sook barges in on a gloriously naked Eric (Alexander Skarsgard) banging his hot new Estonian pole dancer at Fangtasia and, after offering Sookie the alibi that he’d been “indisposed” with the dancer for the past six hours (Energizer Bunny, anyone?), he admits that as sheriff of Louisiana it’s his responsibility to look into Bill’s disappearance even though he “wants what’s his.” Eric’s next visit at the club is from Queen Sophie-Ann (Evan Rachel Wood) accompanied by the vampire magister (Zeljko Ivanek), who is investigating rumors that vamps are dealing V. Eric and Queenie feign shock and disbelief at the mere thought that their own kind would deal in the stuff and have a nasty hissing contest when the magister leaves. Queenie is broke and needs Eric to move the merchandise faster, even if he has to have a fire sale to do it.


Never call Pam a hooker.

In the Company of Wolves

Eric sends Pam (Kristin Bauer) out to first pay Sookie the ten grand Eric owed her, plus interest (another sign of Eric’s affection, perhaps?), then to apply pressure to Lafayette to unload the V pronto. Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) learns two things from the encounter: never call Pam a hooker (she hates being reminded of her past), and don’t take her for a softy just because she wears a lot of pink. Lafayette also has his hands full helping Tara (Rutina Wesley) pick up the pieces after Jason (Ryan Kwanten) killed Eggs. Tara is understandably devastated and livid at everyone within spitting distance of her. She practically rips off Arlene’s head for her insensitive remarks about Eggs murdering all those women and cutting out their hearts under maenad Maryann’s influence. When she finds out that Sook used her telepathic power to help unlock Eggs’ murderous memories, she jumps her. Things are so bad Tara asks for her useless bible-thumping mother Lettie Mae, whom Lafayette will never forgive for shooting at him. After momma Thornton brings a reverend to minister to Tara, she does the obvious thing and tries to swallow every pill in the medicine cabinet just as Lafayette arrives to kick in the bathroom door. Jason is also traumatized from killing Eggs. Even after Andy convinces him that the best way to return things to normal in Bon Temps is to resume his horndog ways, a guilt-ridden –but buff– Jason can’t rise to the occasion when he strips down for a three-way with two vacationing New York girls. In Arkansas, Sam (Sam Trammell) is recovering from his deadly encounter with Maryann by tracking down his white-trash family. He gets his own naked moment when he has an eerily homoerotic dream about Bill showing up at his motel (shirtless, of course) and nearly luring Sam into a manly encounter in the shower just before he wakes up. What could the dream mean? Perhaps there’s a canine – or lupine—connection. Back in Bon Temps, Bill comes upon a little old lady’s home and feeds on her to recover his strength after his draining at the hands of the V junkies. Just as we get over our shock at his attacking a defenseless senior (hooked to an oxygen tank, no less), he glamours her and leaves her some money in thanks. Good thing he fed since he winds up surrounded by a pack of hungry wolves. As Sookie and Jessica discover when they come upon the dead body of one of Bill’s abductors, it turns out that the V junkies are werewolves!

Photos copyright 2010 Home Box Office, Inc. All rights reserved.

Maryann: a gal in serious need of a manicure.

Maryann: a gal in serious need of a manicure.

Hi all! I’m a “True Blood” fan who is a tad late to the whole blogging thing, but I’m here nevertheless (and happily so). My first post about this amazing, kick-ass show that never fails to make me say — nay, scream — OMG! begs the question: What is Maryann really up to? OK, so we now know that she’s a maenad, a mythological creature who is some sort of high priestess who worships the Greek god Dionysus. This Dionysus dude is the god of wine and according to Wikipedia (one of my favorite things in this world, so handy), he inspires madness and ecstasy. This explains all the horny goings-on among the clueless town folk of Bon Temps around the campfire when Miss Maryann tried to literally get her claws back into poor Sam. The “True Blood” producers — whom I love dearly for putting passion back into TV, believe me — have distracted us with all that neo-Nazi Brotherhood of the Sun stuff in Dallas, but I still think next month’s season finale will center on Maryann’s true reason for being in town. I have a sneaking suspicion that her hunky minion Eggs has implanted some sort of demon spawn inside poor Tara’s incubator. Ever since Maryann came to town, literally running Tara off the road with her little piggy Daphne (so glad to see her go), she’s been hellbent on Tara and Eggs doing the nasty. And did they ever! As their sinewy bodies coupled, their lascivious faces all spooky with black-eyed abandon, Maryann vibrated faster than a popular girl’s cellphone set to the silent mode. Feeding Daphne’s shapeshifting heart to the unsuspecting Tara and Eggs struck us as if she were adding a final ingredient to a mighty potent recipe. I think it’s gonna be a recipe for disaster. Rosemary’s Baby, anyone?

Here, Miss Maryann confronts her favorite wayward pet Sam. Funny how nobody questioned her unique hairstyling preferences.

Photo and YouTube footage copyright 2009 Home Box Office, Inc. All rights reserved.