Posts Tagged ‘Kristin-Bauer’

Godric urged Eric to feed on Sookie in Eric's nightmare.

July 24 – This is the episode where the percolating passion between Sookie and Eric came to a boil and characters were having crazy dreams all over the place. After Marnie hexed Pam, Jesus and Lafayette fear vampire retribution so much that they decide to go to Mexico to visit Jesus’s weird uncle who introduced Jesus to the ways of witchcraft. Tara agrees that it’s time to return to New Orleans but finds out her girlfriend has discovered mail addressed to Tara’s true name. She’s got some explaining to do! Tommy is in a bigger fix on the wrong end of a chain wrapped around his neck by his no-good father Joe Lee, who’s intent on forcing him to return to dog fighting. Just when Joe Lee thinks Tommy’s out for the count, an enraged Tommy turns the tables on him and starts beating him to death. When his masochistic mom jumps in to save her sorry excuse for a husband, Tommy accidentally kills her, too! Tommy naturally turns to Sam, who tosses the hillbilly corpses into his van and drives out to dispose of the bodies. Sheriff Andy pulls him over and nearly discovers the dead bodies when he opens the back doors of the van but is spooked by Tommy in the form of an alligator. Fittingly, it’s a gator-filled swamp where Sam and Tommy’s good-for-nothing parents find their final resting place. The brothers bond when Sam confesses to Tommy he has also taken life. The question remains how Tommy will deal with the guilt that’s sure to plague him now. Eric has an eerie dream in which his maker Godric appears and tempts him into feeding on Sookie. It’s his nature, Godric commands. Sookie is then startled awake by Eric, fangs bared and hovering over her in bed. Rather than attack her, he crawls into her bed like a little boy and cries over his nightmare about Godric.  Sook consoles him, telling him that Godric was good and would want him to tap into this new, gentler personality he’s revealing. Sookie can’t believe she’s cuddling with big bad Eric Northman, but reassures him that while he’s not Gandhi, he’s not evil either. Tara disagrees vehemently when, after stopping by for advice from Sook on how to deal with her girlfriend back in New Orleans, she discovers that Eric is staying at Sookie’s home. Tara thinks Sookie’s crazier now than when she was dating Bill!  Sookie picks up some of Molly’s thoughts about Eric’s confrontation with the coven and pays Marnie a visit at the Moon Goddess Emporium. During a reading, Marnie taps into Sookie’s grandmother’s spirit and warns her to not get involved with her “new man” since it will be just temporary. Sook also connects with her Gran, hearing her warning to get away from Marnie immediately. It seems that there’s an evil surrounding Marnie that the Wiccan is not aware of. Or is she? Bill’s spy in Marnie’s coven leads a raid on Moon Goddess and arrests her. In captivity, Marnie flashes back to another prison cell where the Spanish witch and her coven are awaiting execution. Pam, whose rotting facial features are falling off as often as she curses, thirsts for revenge against the witch. Bill suggests she try more makeup and glamours Marnie to prove that she’s telling the truth about not knowing how she hexed Pam and Eric. A frustrated Pam may need to stock up on some Estee Lauder after all. In Shreveport, a pack master named Marcus Bozeman pressures Alcide to register with the local pack but Alcide is not intimidated and tells the biker wolf to buzz off. Something tells me Alcide’s tranquil new life is about to be rocked to the core and Debbie won’t be of much help in the matter. 

Jason had an erotic dream about Jessica. Will he betray his friend Hoyt?

Arlene and Terry recruit Tara’s mom Letty Mae and her preacher husband to banish the evil spirit lurking in their house. While Arlene and Terry enjoy a carnal celebration afterward, a matchbook on a night table nearby self-ignites, revealing that their prayers have not been answered just yet. Jessica and Hoyt nurse Jason back to health after his ordeal in Hot Shot. After Jason confides to Hoyt about being sexually abused by the she-panthers in heat, he promptly has an erotic dream that begins with him coupling with Jessica and ends with a writhing Hoyt taking her place on top of Jason! Eric is shocked and distressed to learn from Tara that he had done so many awful things. Afraid to hurt Sookie, he tries to leave, but Sookie asks him to stay, pulling him in for the much delayed, much anticipated real-world, non-dream kiss – and it’s a hot one! Tender yet urgent, just as all the Truebies on Team Eric would have imagined it to be. Bill, meanwhile, assembles four Louisiana vampire sheriffs to alert them about Eric’s predicament and learn more about the history of the witch covens. An angry Pam – never the best at diplomacy or discretion – blurts out that she knows Eric is an amnesiac and Bill forces her to reveal that her maker is shacking up at Sookie’s. Will an angry Bill catch Eric and Sookie in the act?

Photos copyright 2011 HBO Productions. All rights reserved.

Crystal forces herself on an unwilling Jason!

July 10 – It seems like everybody in Bon Temps is looking for Eric in the wake of his eventful run-in with the witches. After a brief chase in the woods, Sookie punches Eric in the nose and makes him swear not to bite her in exchange for helping him figure out who he is. Eric is aware that he’s a vampire but he’s not sure what his true nature is anymore. He shares with Sookie the soul-sucking spell Marnie put on him and Sook begrudgingly agrees to help him. She interrupts Pam having a hot feeding session on a hunky human and summons her. Pam, who we all know hates to be bothered while she’s feeding, threatens Sookie — to Eric’s chagrin — then pleads with her to give Eric safe haven from Bill, whom she suspects of having set Eric up with the coven. Eric’s enemies would surely take advantage of his vulnerable state. The witches, meanwhile, aren’t aware how effective their spell was. Lafayette is set on putting himself at Eric’s mercy to avoid the inevitable retribution. Tara and Jesus team up to protect Lafayette from making a big mistake and interrupt a livid Pam’s attack on the sassy cook when he shows up at Fangtasia.  Pam clues them in on Eric’s predicament and gives them 24 hours to deliver Marnie to her so she can force her to undo the spell. Marnie, however, has other plans and succeeds in conjuring up the spirit of the powerful witch who helped her zap Eric. If Pam wants Marnie, she should be ready to deal with some serious magic! Eric’s new personality has the formerly fierce Viking acting like a big, awkward puppy dog, muddying Sook’s rug. When Sook visits Alcide in Shreveport in the hopes of recruiting him to watch over Eric, she learns the musclebound werewolf has reconciled with a sober and newly religious Debbie. We’ll see how long Deb holds on to her religion when Alcide inevitably returns to Bon Temps to keep Sookie out of trouble. Jason could use some protection very badly. Every time he wakes up in Hot Shot he is faced with an ever-escalating nightmare. Bruised and bloodied, Jason is nursed by Crystal, who is awaiting his transformation into a werepanther so he can mate with her. She even gives him Viagra and mounts him while he’s chained to the bed, in full view of the hillbilly panther kids who gleefully await new additions to their pride. Andy, in the throes of his V addiction, is of no help to Jason and has a run-in with Sam, who is aghast when he learns that Tommy is plotting to cheat Hoyt’s mom out of a windfall she’s getting for owning a house built on land that is a source of natural gas. Sam can’t believe how Tommy can betray a lady who’s teaching him to read. Tommy is sick of Sam acting superior to him. Hoyt, meanwhile, blows up at Jessica when she admits she fed on another guy at Fangtasia. Afraid of losing him, Jess glamours her confession out of his memory. More and more, Jessica is abusing her vampire abilities at Hoyt’s expense. This can’t lead to good things. The two get rid of the freaky doll that came with their new home by giving it to Arlene’s devil baby. Talk about a match made in Hell! I wonder if he’ll rip its head off like the Barbie dolls?

Pam gives Tara, Lafayette and Jesus a deadly ultimatum.

Bill is getting increasingly agitated that Eric has not checked in with him about his mission to investigate the Wiccans. His lady lawyer friend manages to distract him by offering herself sexually to him. He accepts her generous offer but tells her bluntly that he can never love her and refuses to drink from her during their coupling. Time will tell how long she will put up with being treated like a convenient playmate while he nurses a broken heart over our gal Sook. Sookie’s fairy godmother Claudine shows up at the house ordering her to return to Fairyland but Sook refuses. While Claudine tries to reason with her Eric pounces and drains her to the point of evaporation. “You just killed my fairy godmother,” Sookie chastises Eric, who can only meekly apologize like a kid caught breaking a window by his mom.

Photos copyright 2011 HBO Productions. All rights reserved.

I was so excited to see True Blood featured on no less than three collectible covers of this week’s issue of Entertainment Weekly that I checked out the EW site to see if it might have more True Blood goodies. Sure enough, they did a great slideshow of Season Four pictures with some storyline teasers for ten of the show’s most popular characters . Check it out here and be sure to keep looking through the pictures after the last one because it’s followed by EW’s coverage of the cast’s red carpet arrivals at the season four premiere. Everyone looks super glam. Kristin Bauer van Straten is way softer-looking out of her “Pam drag” and I barely recognized Britt Morgan, who played Alcide’s crazy ex Debbie. I wonder if Deb’s going to show her trashy face again this season.

Is this the end of Queen Sophie-Anne?

Riveting Revelations

September 12: Eric and King Russell are smokin’ like two strips of bacon on a frying pan outside Fangtasia when Eric’s maker Godric appears urging him to forgive Russ and set him free. Eric ponders his predicament for a second or two before Sookie rescues him, using her fairy blast to free him from the handcuffs he had slapped on himself and Russ. Sook then revives Eric by letting him feed on her blood while Bill sulks. Although Pam and Sookie balk at the idea, Eric decides they should spare King Russell’s life and Sook drags him inside and subdues the charred vampire monarch with heavy silver chains. What will they do with him now? Tara and Sam are basking in the afterglow of their tryst when you can practically hear the screeching tires after Sam confides that he’s a shapeshifter. Tara can’t seem to avoid dealing with supernatural beings any where she turns. She walks in on her annoying mom getting frisky with the pastor who had previously tried to minister to her. Although initially shocked at her mom’s indiscretion, Tara nevertheless wishes her well, wistfully hoping she, too, can find someone who is human and can actually touch a cross for a change. Sam tracks down Tommy and demands he return the Merlotte’s loot. When Tommy turns to walk away, Sam shoots him! Like his cousin Tara, Lafayette is making some uncomfortable discoveries now that he can see visions of the secrets haunting the residents of Bon Temps. Spooked by his new talent, he turns to Jesus, who confesses that he himself is a brujo, a male practitioner of witchcraft. As they say, birds of a feather!  Hoyt’s mom Mrs. Fortenberry stages an intervention to separate him from Jessica once and for all. The gamble fails and Hoyt buys a house to shack up with Jess. Mrs. Fortenberry’s response is to buy a rifle. Might it have silver bullets? 

Can Sookie really be happy in Fairyland without Bill or Eric?

Cementing King Russell’s Fate

Jason hightails it over to Hotshot to warn its residents of the DEA’s impending raid. Crystal’s ornery dad is no help, as usual, but gets the tables turned on him when Crystal’s V-addicted ex shows up in a craze and shoots his face off. When he demands Crystal leave with him, she agrees, asking Jason to take responsibility for looking after the panther people. Jason vows to get her back. At Fangtasia, things are jumping. Alcide visits Sookie and tells her he’s been thinking about her. Sook, who’s just about had it with the chaos that comes with dating vampires, may just be receptive to his overtures. Bill senses that he has a new rival for Sookie’s affections. The first order of business for the team, however, is figuring out how to imprison King Russell without ending him. Sook has no sympathy for him and responds to his attempts to manipulate her by trashing Talbot’s remains in Fangtasia’s garbage dispenser while Russ screams in agony. His Royal Toupee has worse problems when Eric and Bill dump him in a remote construction site and immobilize him with silver while burying him undead in cement. Ever the drama queen, Russell vows to get even with them all when he returns… glug, glug, glug. With Russ swimming in concrete, Bill ambushes Eric and pushes him into a slot right next to the King, telling Eric that he can never have Sookie. He then orders a hit on Pam. Bill intends  to eliminate anyone who learned that Sookie is a fairy to keep her secret from spreading, but Eric escapes Bill’s trap and tells Sook how Bill manipulated their romance from the start at the instructions of Queen Sophie-Anne, who wants to taste her coveted fairy blood. A fed-up Sookie rescinds her invitations to both vampires and orders them out of her life. Eric seems genuine when he apologizes to Sook for tattling on Bill. Bill, still intent on protecting Sookie, lures the newly widowed (and loving it) Queen Sophie-Anne to his house for a death match. Later, a lonely Sook visits her grandma’s grave and is approached by her fairy friend Claudine. After all the drama and danger that accompanied her romance with Bill, Claudine’s outstretched hand is a welcome sight that’s too good to resist.  In a blinding flash, Sookie and the fairies disappear. Will Bill and Eric ever see her again? Tune in next summer. The Biting Remarks blog is taking a break until then. Have a great fall!

 Photos copyright 2010 Home Box Office, Inc. All rights reserved.

Will Sam and Tara regret their latest fling?

Acting on an Impulse

August 29: Pam gets a little action when Bill shows up at Fangtasia to rescue Sookie. During the ensuing melee, she compensates for not being as old and strong as Bill by spraying him in the face with liquid silver. While Bill and Pam tussle upstairs, Fangtasia’s stripper, still fuming at Eric for calling her a gold-digger, unshackles Sookie and the Sookster sneaks up on Pam, choking her with a silver chain. Sook makes a getaway with her man while Pam pleads to not be left alone with “the immigrant.” Not a smart move if you ask me, Pammy. The stripper isn’t the only one ticked off in Bon Temps. Sam shows up at Merlotte’s totally plastered and insults everyone within sight. Tara, still smarting from learning that Jason and Andy covered up the truth behind Eggs’ death, is hittin’ the sauce pretty hard and sticks around when Sam throws out the patrons and staff. It doesn’t take a clairvoyant to predict what happens next. Sam and Tara are too busy doing naked gymnastics to notice an alarm set off by a vengeful Tommy breaking into the Merlotte’s safe. Sam’s drunken tirade will cost him dearly! Also heating things up are the newly reunited Jessica and Hoyt. Jess confesses to Hoyt that she is addicted to human blood, he offers himself up to satisfy her craving. He seems to enjoy it when she lustily accepts his gallant offer. Hoyt’s annoying mom, who recruited the mousy gal whom he dated for a blip to try to get over Jess, is still determined to keep him away from her. Something tells me her plotting will soon take a dangerous turn.

Is this really the end for Eric Northman?

Sunburn

Holly and Arlene conduct a Wiccan ritual to concoct some mystical solution to Arlene’s unwanted pregnancy. When Arlene bleeds out in bed, the baby survives the emergency to her consternation. Was the blood some sort of spirit draining from the child orchestrated by Holly? She’s a freak, if you ask me. Her interest in Arlene is spooky and too conveniently timed. I suspect she’s a relative of Rene’s plotting to resurrect him or exact revenge upon the Bon Temps residents responsible for his death. In other Bon Temps news, Jason comes to terms with the fact that Crystal is part of a community of were-panthers (so what else is new?) and deduces that the smarmy jock who’s been breaking all his sports records is using V to enhance his performance. Lafayette comes down from his V trip with Jesus and has a horrible vision of a monster in place of his newly addicted boyfriend. Could it be Jesus’ true nature? Bill and Sookie have a heart-to-heart about the ramifications of recent events on their relationship. Sook admits that she has feelings for Eric but that she still loves Bill. She also acknowledges that she’ll have a hard time trusting either of them after the Russell Edgington thing, not knowing that the final act in that drama is about to play out.  Eric pays Russ a visit and shares his quest for revenge, which tickles the vampire monarch with its silliness. Before His Royal Toupee can administer his punishment, Eric promises to share with him the secret to walking during daylight in exchange for letting him live. Next thing you know, the two literally stop Bill and Sookie in their tracks and hightail it back to Fangtasia, where Eric fakes a fight with Bill to distract Russ while he clues Bill in on his plan to double-cross the king. Eric tells Russ that Sook’s blood will grant him immunity from sunlight. The two feed on Sookie while a tense Bill and Pam look on. Russ, crafty as ever, makes Eric test his theory first. The Viking vamp walks out into the sunlight and smiles into the security cameras as if all is well. In truth, Eric’s skin is slowly frying, but he covers his agony to dupe King Russell into joining him outside. As soon as the evil vamp takes the bait, Eric handcuffs them together as they drop to their knees like two vampire eggs on a frying pan! Tune in September 12 for the season finale!

Photos from the True Blood Wiki; copyright 2010 Home Box Office, Inc. All rights reserved.

What horrible retribution does Russell have planned for Eric and the gang?

Who You Callin’ a Fairy?

August 22: It’s official — Sookie is a fairy. Technically she’s half fairy and half human, not that she’s terribly impressed by the revelation coming from Bill. She’s further irked by the insinuation that the reason all the vamps are going bonkers for her, including Bill, is because fairy blood is particularly delicious to their undead palates. Bill assures her that although his attraction to her may have been provoked by this, their bond has evolved beyond mere bloodlust. For some reason, Bill isn’t totally honest about the cold reception he got from Sook’s fellow fairy Claudine in fairyland. Does he have something to hide? At least Sook can take consolation in the fact that she’s a kick-ass fairy. A bitter Tara certainly wouldn’t mind kicking Bill’s ass along with those of vamps everywhere. She gets some solace from Sookie when she tells her the whole story about her nightmare with Freaky Franklin, but her gratitude toward a guilt-wracked Jason quickly dissolves upon hearing his confession that he was the one who fatally shot Eggs last season. The drama between Jason and Tara distracts them from looking after Sookie as Bill had requested and Miss Stackhouse pays Eric Northman a visit. Eric, preparing for his inevitable showdown with King Russell, is getting his affairs in order and drafts a new will leaving his entire estate to Pam, who is not pleased with her sire’s pessimistic attitude. Give Russell what he wants — Sookie, she urges, reasoning that the King will get her anyway. Maybe and maybe not, thinks Eric. Sookie, who continues to have sexy dreams about Eric, finally gets a taste of the real thing when the Viking vamp hungrily plants some kisses on her and she responds. Remembering the potency of her fairy blood, she pulls away before things can progress further.

Russell’s Unfinished Business

The gang at Merlotte’s is in emotional upheaval, as usual. Sam’s attack on Crystal’s white-trash father stirs memories of his larcenous past when he used his shapeshifting ability to pull off thefts. When he was betrayed by a beautiful woman, his revenge on her and her lover was deadly. Tommy, who shares Sam’s rage issues, gets into a tussle with Hoyt after he shows up at Merlotte’s trying to reconcile with Jessica yet again. Hurt by her most recent rejection, Hoyt wastes no time in clocking Tommy when the annoying brat teases him. Tommy, however, strikes back in pitbull form and mangles Hoyt’s hand. Pulling Tommy off her man, Jessica admits that she still has feelings for Hoyt and gives him her blood to heal his wounds. Tommy’s not pleased by their touching reunion. Arlene confesses to Terry that her baby is really Rene’s, but Terry vows to raise the child as his own. Arlene, despite her incessant whining and bad dye job, really lucked out with that guy! Lafayette and Jesus take Crystal’s battered dad to Lafayette’s place after realizing he’ll never make it to the hospital alive. After Lafayette saves his worthless life by giving him V, Crystal’s dad can only spew homophobic slurs at this saviors and reads his daughter the riot act for daring to “mix” with Jason when her “mate” was already preselected. Lafayette and Jesus take hits of V, which takes them on a psychedelic mindtrip that reveals witchcraft figured in both their family histories. Perhaps Lafayette is some sort of shaman. Bill confronts Jason about losing track of Sook, only to be banished from Jason’s place when he rescinds the welcome he granted Bill. Jason’s next visitor is a striking black panther who turns out to be Crystal. Is it my imagination or is Bon Temps becoming some sort of zoo for supernatural animals? What’s in the water, anyway? King Russell’s TV tantrum is causing all sorts of havoc nationwide and Nan Flanagan is back on air trying to put out the fires being fanned by the likes of the zealots from the Brotherhood of the Sun, who are jumping on the PR disaster to push along their anti-vamp agenda. Russ, meanwhile, takes a moment to bid his beloved Talbot a proper farewell by using the body of a lookalike hustler as a vessel for his lamented consort. At Fangtasia, Eric scoops up Sookie and leaves her shackled and screaming in the hidden dungeon. I’m convinced he loves her.

Photo: from the True Blood Wiki. Copyright 2010 Home Box Office, Inc. All rights reserved.

How can Eric hope to come up against a vengeful 3000-year-old vampire?

Authority Rules

 

August 15: Nan Flanagan, the eerily mainstream spokesperson for The Vampire Authority who appears on TV lobbying for passage of the Vampire Rights Amendment, shows up at Fangtasia looking like a military dominatrix and demanding answers about The Magister’s murder. She’s not too pleased to have been dragged to Louisiana by Eric’s latest shenanigans and makes him testify via cam for the mysterious members of the Authority. As Pam sits close by with extraordinarily buoyant hair, Eric shares King Russell Edgington’s mad plans to put an end to the Authority’s diplomatic relations with humans and his role in killing the Magister and Eric’s father. Nan isn’t totally convinced and puts Eric and Pam under coffin arrest while the Authority mulls over his testimony. Bill and Sookie are having a far better time washing off the bloody signs of their vigorous makeup sex. Arriving downstairs, they encounter the naked corpse of one of the wolves killed in the previous night’s battle. Sook laments that their relationship will never be free of life-threatening encounters and dead bodies floating around. Bill’s not sure that’s a bad thing. Still, Sook’s not comfortable with the secret file he was keeping on her and her family. Bill tells her that it’s important to learn the secret to her true nature in order to protect her from the supernatural beings so intent on using her abilities for their own gain.  Clues to Sookie’s identity come from Cousin Hadley, who asks her to check out her little boy, and is terrified to learn that he has gifts like Sookie, too. Bill comes closer to learning the truth about Sook when he wakes from his rest to enter the mystery world Sookie had visited earlier and encounters the same fairylike woman who urged Sook to dump him. When the woman attempts to flee, Bill’s vamp instinct kicks in and his fangs flare out as he tackles her. Unlike Sookie, this woman has mastered her light power and blasts Bill with enough force to fling him a good distance away from her. She warns him not to mess with Sookie, despite his assurances that he means her no harm. 

Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

Arlene is having a rough day at Merlotte’s, as usual. She accuses Tommy of stealing half her tips and confides in the new waitress Holly that her unborn child is Rene’s. When Holly suggests the possibility of ending the pregnancy, Arlene resigns herself to giving birth to what she believes will be an evil child. Does Holly have plans for it? Tara, still traumatized by her experience with Freaky Franklin, is happy that Lafayette is dating Jesus, but attends a support group for rape survivors where she runs into Holly. Tara has good reason to be on edge. Sam has his hands full trying to reign in Tommy and the pressure gets to him so much that he nearly beats Crystal’s father to death when he shows up at Merlotte’s to take her back home. Crystal’s “people” want her back badly. Her ex shows up and she clocks him with a rifle when Jason distracts him. Crystal makes sure they bind her ex with ropes rather than handcuffs when they leave him tied to a tree by the road. When they call the precinct to have him picked up, he’s missing, and the deputy who showed up on the scene was beaten to a pulp. Jason can only wonder how Crystal’s ex got free of the ropes. Shapeshifting, perhaps? When the ambulance takes Crystal’s dad to the hospital, Tara is confronted by Franklin, who hasn’t quite yet met the real death. Shivering with fear, a defiant Tara faces down her psychotic tormentor and Jason shows up just in time to blow him to bloody smithereens with a wooden bullet through the heart. Is Jason finally getting some smarts? Can Franklin room with Lorena in the vampire afterlife? Also dealing with a bloody mess is King Russell, who screams in agony upon seeing what’s left of Talbot back at the mansion. He vows to Talbot’s innards that he will take revenge against his Bon Temps enemies. Nan makes things easier for Russ by ordering Eric to clean up the mess he made with His Royal Toupee. As far as The Authority’s concerned, Eric is on his own. On her way out of town, Nan’s snacking on a sexy girl’s thigh is interrupted when Russ takes over a national TV newscast, rips out the anchorman’s spine and puts the human race on notice that vampires will rise up to eat them and their children. Then he introduces the weather segment.

Photo Copyright 2010 Home Box Office, Inc. All rights reserved.

Can Sookie forgive Bill for nearly killing her?

Bye Bye, Bad Guys

August 1: This episode is clearly a game changer for True Blood as a number of villainous characters meet abrupt ends and we delve deeper into the mystery of what Sookie truly is. Although it looked like Lorena’s attack on Sook was what sends her to the hospital in grave condition in last week’s episode previews, we quickly learn that Sookie actually turns the tables on the tiresome cow with Bill’s help, staking her into a pool of blood after Lorena is momentarily distracted by the delicious taste of Sookie’s blood. Tara and Alcide, who unfortunately found some clothes to put on, arrive as Sookie tends to her nearly dead man (or is that nearly un-undead?). Their escape is interrupted by a gun-toting, V-crazed Debbie, who has no intention of letting them take Bill – and his blood — anywhere. Alcide tries to reason with her and Tara jumps her, taking away her gun. When Coot arrives, Alcide shoots him dead, leaving a vengeful Debbie locked with her dead lover’s body. At least she has Lorena’s blood to keep her from going hungry. Making their escape in Alcide’s truck, Tara and Alcide let Sookie stay in the back with a dying Bill. To keep Bill alive, Sook gives him some of her blood, but his natural instincts kick in and, starved for blood, he grabs her and begins to drain her. When Tara discovers that a revived Bill’s left Sookie near dead, she literally kicks him out of the truck into the sunlight, but he doesn’t fry as she had hoped. At a hospital, the doctor tells Tara Sookie’s prospects are not good and that she has no blood type. Jason tries to find out more information about Crystal from her cousin in jail, but the slime won’t share any details until Jason can score him some meth.

Fairy Tale

Naturally, Jason turns to Lafayette, who is insulted by the prospect of being considered a meth dealer. The two join Tara and Alcide at Sook’s bedside while an unconscious Sookie makes an out-of-body visit to a gardenlike world inhabited by beautiful dancing people who drink glowing water coming from what seems to be a mystical pond serving as a portal to another universe. When Bill arrives at the hospital, the fantasy world goes dark and Sookie’s new friend warns her not to let the “dark one” take her light. Could the online rumors I’ve seen be true? Is Sookie some sort of fairy? Eric knows the answer to that question now that he drained the secret out of Sook’s cousin Hadley at Queen Sophie-Anne’s home. Later at Fangtasia, he arrives just in time to stop the Magister from further torturing Pam with a new set of silver earrings he picked up at Tiffany’s. King Russell, unintimidated by the Magister’s threats of reprisal from The Vampire Authority, forces him to perform the marriage of His Royal Toupee to Queenie and then beheads him. In the world of shifters, Sam infiltrates the dogfighting ring in the form of a pitbull and sets the captive pooches free to interrupt Tommy’s latest fight. Disgusted by the Mickens’ abuse of the boy, Sam convinces his baby brother to leave them, but Daddy Mickens ain’t so sure Tommy’s fighting days are over just yet. Back at the hospital, Tara and Jason grudgingly allow Bill to save Sook’s life by giving her his blood. When he lovingly greets her after she regains consciousness, Sookie screams her head off. She does that a lot, doesn’t she?

Photo: copyright 2010 Home Box Office, Inc. All rights reserved.

 
 

Can Sookie and Jessica rescue Bill from the werewolves?

Naked Boys on Parade

June 13: Serving up an extra dose of naked, shirtless and randy hunks, True Blood returned for its third season, picking up where it left off last fall. In the wake of Bill’s disappearance, Sookie (Anna Paquin) is having a hell of a time trying to drum up sympathy for her plight from the folks of Bon Temps. The deputy taking her statement thinks Bill (Stephen Moyer) skipped out on her. Sheriff Dearborne (William Sanderson) brushes off her suspicions that Lorena kidnapped Bill and would rather solve missing persons cases involving humans and Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) is busy trying to figure out a way to do away with the body of the jerk she accidentally killed in last season’s finale. It turns out that Sook’s lover boy was swiped by a gang of scruffy V-Juice junkies who are draining a shirtless Bill in a scene looking suspiciously like a leatherman orgy, pinched nipples and all. Those True Blood writers do love their gay innuendo, don’t they? Bill manages to escape them by causing them to crash and buries himself to recover from his injuries. A frustrated Sook barges in on a gloriously naked Eric (Alexander Skarsgard) banging his hot new Estonian pole dancer at Fangtasia and, after offering Sookie the alibi that he’d been “indisposed” with the dancer for the past six hours (Energizer Bunny, anyone?), he admits that as sheriff of Louisiana it’s his responsibility to look into Bill’s disappearance even though he “wants what’s his.” Eric’s next visit at the club is from Queen Sophie-Ann (Evan Rachel Wood) accompanied by the vampire magister (Zeljko Ivanek), who is investigating rumors that vamps are dealing V. Eric and Queenie feign shock and disbelief at the mere thought that their own kind would deal in the stuff and have a nasty hissing contest when the magister leaves. Queenie is broke and needs Eric to move the merchandise faster, even if he has to have a fire sale to do it.

 
 
 

Never call Pam a hooker.

In the Company of Wolves

Eric sends Pam (Kristin Bauer) out to first pay Sookie the ten grand Eric owed her, plus interest (another sign of Eric’s affection, perhaps?), then to apply pressure to Lafayette to unload the V pronto. Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) learns two things from the encounter: never call Pam a hooker (she hates being reminded of her past), and don’t take her for a softy just because she wears a lot of pink. Lafayette also has his hands full helping Tara (Rutina Wesley) pick up the pieces after Jason (Ryan Kwanten) killed Eggs. Tara is understandably devastated and livid at everyone within spitting distance of her. She practically rips off Arlene’s head for her insensitive remarks about Eggs murdering all those women and cutting out their hearts under maenad Maryann’s influence. When she finds out that Sook used her telepathic power to help unlock Eggs’ murderous memories, she jumps her. Things are so bad Tara asks for her useless bible-thumping mother Lettie Mae, whom Lafayette will never forgive for shooting at him. After momma Thornton brings a reverend to minister to Tara, she does the obvious thing and tries to swallow every pill in the medicine cabinet just as Lafayette arrives to kick in the bathroom door. Jason is also traumatized from killing Eggs. Even after Andy convinces him that the best way to return things to normal in Bon Temps is to resume his horndog ways, a guilt-ridden –but buff– Jason can’t rise to the occasion when he strips down for a three-way with two vacationing New York girls. In Arkansas, Sam (Sam Trammell) is recovering from his deadly encounter with Maryann by tracking down his white-trash family. He gets his own naked moment when he has an eerily homoerotic dream about Bill showing up at his motel (shirtless, of course) and nearly luring Sam into a manly encounter in the shower just before he wakes up. What could the dream mean? Perhaps there’s a canine – or lupine—connection. Back in Bon Temps, Bill comes upon a little old lady’s home and feeds on her to recover his strength after his draining at the hands of the V junkies. Just as we get over our shock at his attacking a defenseless senior (hooked to an oxygen tank, no less), he glamours her and leaves her some money in thanks. Good thing he fed since he winds up surrounded by a pack of hungry wolves. As Sookie and Jessica discover when they come upon the dead body of one of Bill’s abductors, it turns out that the V junkies are werewolves!

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