Posts Tagged ‘Ryan-Kwanten’

Pam’s happy face looks just like her mad face.

July 29 – Jason stops Sookie from depleting her fairy light by making her realize her powers may help them discover the identity of the vampire who killed their parents. Sookie’s fairy powers make her special, he reminds her. The two return to Fairyland to enlist the help of the fairies and the tinkerbells form a circle of energy that enables Sook to experience what her mother saw the night she was killed. Sook sees the vamp, but can’t make out his features, then, when her mother dies in the flashback, Sook sees the proceedings from the vamp’s point of view and feels the blast of her dead fairy godmother Claudine, who attacked the vampire, calling him Warlo. Sookie later sees a ghostly version of Warlo floating above her in her bathroom. Does the vamp sense that the Stackhouse siblings are hot on his trail? Jessica has a close call when she picks up a hot fangbanger at Fangtasia who turns out to be one of the hate group members who lured her into a trap to be presented to Hoyt bound in silver chains for execution. Hoyt spares her life but is still bitter when she admits that her love for him has died. In other Fangtasia news, Tara, who is looking more glamorous as the weeks go by, has a nasty reunion with a bitchy and racist acquaintance from high school. Although Pam stops Tara from being rude to the customer, she later presents the woman, chained up, to Tara as her personal feeding station. A delighted Tara, who thought Pam was upset with her, learns that Pam’s mad face looks just like her happy one and dives into her meal with gusto. Also diving into things is Alcide, who has two vigorous tussles with very different results. First, he and Rikki give in to their simmering animal attraction and have a hot round of perfect-bodied wolf sex. Alcide may have a new mate, but he may not live long enough to enjoy her if J.D. has anything to say about it. Knowing Alcide’s morals are his weak spot, J.D. challenges him to a hunt where the prey is a young human track star. Alcide refuses to participate and tries to stop J.D. when the hunt goes on. A juiced-up J.D. gets the best of Alcide during their fight but is stopped from killing him by Martha and the rest of the pack. How will Alcide bounce back from this humiliating defeat? Luna has a pretty bad day herself when her skincrawling morphing ability kicks in from all the stress over the shifter hunters and she turns into Sam! She steals some clothes to sneak out of the hospital while clueless folks don’t notice that although she looks like Sam she still walks like Luna. At the jail, Sam is interrogating a hate group member in the form of a cobra when Luna shows up and freaks him out. Looking on at the weird sight of Sam and his lookalike girlfriend, Andy woefully says he hates living in freaky Bon Temps.

Can Arlene save Terry from the curse of the Ifrit?

Lafayette has a loving reunion with the spirit of Jesus as he’s driving home and gets hired by Arlene and Holly to break the fire monster curse hovering over Terry. The girls are hopeful that a séance with Lafayette will convince Terry that he’s not doomed. Lafayette plays along for a pay-day but the séance, with Terry and Patrick present, becomes the real thing when Lafayette channels the spirit of the Iraqi woman, who reveals that the only way the curse of the Ifrit can be lifted is if either Terry or Patrick is killed as a sacrifice. An eye for an eye, as it were. The girls aren’t happy with Lafayette’s performance. Neither is Patrick, who runs out like a bat out of hell. How appropriate. At the Authority headquarters, the chancellors are basking in the afterglow of their feeding orgy and begin plotting the overthrow of the mainstreaming movement worldwide. Steve Newlin and Russell seem to be contemplating maneuvers of a different sort when a bossy Salome reminds Russ that it’s time to work. Has the Vampire King found a replacement for his late partner Talbot? Salome is exerting her newfound power in very pushy ways, like forcing Bill to feed on a human woman. While the chancellors strategize their next move, Bill comes up with the diabolical idea of bombing True Blood factories to force the mainstreamers to feed on humans. The chancellors love the idea. Eric can’t believe his ears. Has Bill turned to the dark side or is this the first step in a brilliant plan to defeat the sanguinistas? Stay tuned!

Can Alcide really stay away from Sookie? Don't bet on it!

August 14 – Jason tackles Jessica and pulls her back into the house to keep her from burning in the sun. At first Jess attacks him, but realizes he saved her when Antonia’s spell wears off. Then the two become impassioned. Bill is grateful to Jason for saving Jessica and laying silver on her again to protect against more spells from Antonia, but he asks Officer Stackhouse to let them rest up. Jessica can no longer deny her feelings for Jason and dreams that she breaks up with Hoyt, killing him when he becomes a whining wuss, then has sex with Jason in his truck. The reality is far different when she tells Hoyt their relationship is over.  He rages against her and revokes his invitation to her, sending her flying out of the house. When she tells Jason – who’s clad in a tight tank and painted-on jeans — about dumping Hoyt, he kicks her out, too, and cools his libido by doing push-ups. Officer Stackhouse later checks out the bloody remains of Mrs. Fortenberrry’s vampire neighbor and is appalled when Andy nearly licks the blood off the ground. Bill shows up to do some damage control PR when the local media covers the vampire’s apparent suicide and the newscast enrages Antonia, who is frustrated that her spell only killed a single vamp. Bill calls the Moongoddess Emporium to set up a meeting to work out a truce between their warring camps. Antonia agrees to meet him at a nearby cemetery at midnight. How appropriate!  Tommy breaks into Mrs. Fortenberry’s home and swipes her jewelry to pass himself off as her to get a windfall from the oil company guy but learns that the death of Maxine’s neighbor has freed up the house next to hers, lessening the value of her payoff. Whom will Tommy impersonate next? Sam is preoccupied with Luna’s ex, the wolf pack leader Marcus, who’s not keen on Sam hanging out with his little girl. Luna threatens to report Marcus to his parole officer. The werewolf gives Sam a not-so-subtle threat of his own. Marcus may be itching for a fight with Sam, but he forbids his pack from interfering in the escalating war between the vampires and the witches, reminding his pack mates that vampires are a dangerous threat to wolves. Alcide helps him subdue one hot-headed young werewolf who refuses to obey Marcus’s orders and promises Debbie he won’t see Sookie since she’s so involved with vamps. We all know that’s one promise Alcide is unable to keep. Sookie’s too preoccupied to think about Alcide, Bill or anyone else because she’s busy making love with Eric over and over again. After removing Eric’s silver bindings, she lets him feed on her to regain his strength then drinks his blood at his insistence so they can be united forever. In the afterglow of their marathon couplings, Sookie isn’t so sure that forever exists for anyone and tells Eric they need to support Bill in his campaign against the witches. A dream reveals to Lafayette that the black woman he’s seen visiting baby Mike had a child who was killed by its father, a wealthy white man who wanted to keep its existence a secret. When Lafayette awakens, the woman possesses him and promptly kidnaps Mikey!

What will Arlene do when she realizes Mikey's gone missing?

When Bill and Antonia meet at the cemetery, they each reveal they brought back-up and a fierce battle erupts. In the melee, Bill forbids Pam from killing Tara– ever – but is himself overpowered by Antonia’s minions bearing silver and a cross. Sookie uses her fairy blast to ward off a coven member but is then shot! Alcide, ever her gallant guardian, shows up and scoops her up into his powerful arms unaware that Debbie had been shadowing him in wolf form. Eric exhibits his savage nature during the battle and corners Antonia for a rematch, only to be hexed yet again. What will the sorceress do to the Viking warrior next?

Photos copyright 2011 HBO Productions. All rights reserved.

Godric urged Eric to feed on Sookie in Eric's nightmare.

July 24 – This is the episode where the percolating passion between Sookie and Eric came to a boil and characters were having crazy dreams all over the place. After Marnie hexed Pam, Jesus and Lafayette fear vampire retribution so much that they decide to go to Mexico to visit Jesus’s weird uncle who introduced Jesus to the ways of witchcraft. Tara agrees that it’s time to return to New Orleans but finds out her girlfriend has discovered mail addressed to Tara’s true name. She’s got some explaining to do! Tommy is in a bigger fix on the wrong end of a chain wrapped around his neck by his no-good father Joe Lee, who’s intent on forcing him to return to dog fighting. Just when Joe Lee thinks Tommy’s out for the count, an enraged Tommy turns the tables on him and starts beating him to death. When his masochistic mom jumps in to save her sorry excuse for a husband, Tommy accidentally kills her, too! Tommy naturally turns to Sam, who tosses the hillbilly corpses into his van and drives out to dispose of the bodies. Sheriff Andy pulls him over and nearly discovers the dead bodies when he opens the back doors of the van but is spooked by Tommy in the form of an alligator. Fittingly, it’s a gator-filled swamp where Sam and Tommy’s good-for-nothing parents find their final resting place. The brothers bond when Sam confesses to Tommy he has also taken life. The question remains how Tommy will deal with the guilt that’s sure to plague him now. Eric has an eerie dream in which his maker Godric appears and tempts him into feeding on Sookie. It’s his nature, Godric commands. Sookie is then startled awake by Eric, fangs bared and hovering over her in bed. Rather than attack her, he crawls into her bed like a little boy and cries over his nightmare about Godric.  Sook consoles him, telling him that Godric was good and would want him to tap into this new, gentler personality he’s revealing. Sookie can’t believe she’s cuddling with big bad Eric Northman, but reassures him that while he’s not Gandhi, he’s not evil either. Tara disagrees vehemently when, after stopping by for advice from Sook on how to deal with her girlfriend back in New Orleans, she discovers that Eric is staying at Sookie’s home. Tara thinks Sookie’s crazier now than when she was dating Bill!  Sookie picks up some of Molly’s thoughts about Eric’s confrontation with the coven and pays Marnie a visit at the Moon Goddess Emporium. During a reading, Marnie taps into Sookie’s grandmother’s spirit and warns her to not get involved with her “new man” since it will be just temporary. Sook also connects with her Gran, hearing her warning to get away from Marnie immediately. It seems that there’s an evil surrounding Marnie that the Wiccan is not aware of. Or is she? Bill’s spy in Marnie’s coven leads a raid on Moon Goddess and arrests her. In captivity, Marnie flashes back to another prison cell where the Spanish witch and her coven are awaiting execution. Pam, whose rotting facial features are falling off as often as she curses, thirsts for revenge against the witch. Bill suggests she try more makeup and glamours Marnie to prove that she’s telling the truth about not knowing how she hexed Pam and Eric. A frustrated Pam may need to stock up on some Estee Lauder after all. In Shreveport, a pack master named Marcus Bozeman pressures Alcide to register with the local pack but Alcide is not intimidated and tells the biker wolf to buzz off. Something tells me Alcide’s tranquil new life is about to be rocked to the core and Debbie won’t be of much help in the matter. 

Jason had an erotic dream about Jessica. Will he betray his friend Hoyt?

Arlene and Terry recruit Tara’s mom Letty Mae and her preacher husband to banish the evil spirit lurking in their house. While Arlene and Terry enjoy a carnal celebration afterward, a matchbook on a night table nearby self-ignites, revealing that their prayers have not been answered just yet. Jessica and Hoyt nurse Jason back to health after his ordeal in Hot Shot. After Jason confides to Hoyt about being sexually abused by the she-panthers in heat, he promptly has an erotic dream that begins with him coupling with Jessica and ends with a writhing Hoyt taking her place on top of Jason! Eric is shocked and distressed to learn from Tara that he had done so many awful things. Afraid to hurt Sookie, he tries to leave, but Sookie asks him to stay, pulling him in for the much delayed, much anticipated real-world, non-dream kiss – and it’s a hot one! Tender yet urgent, just as all the Truebies on Team Eric would have imagined it to be. Bill, meanwhile, assembles four Louisiana vampire sheriffs to alert them about Eric’s predicament and learn more about the history of the witch covens. An angry Pam – never the best at diplomacy or discretion – blurts out that she knows Eric is an amnesiac and Bill forces her to reveal that her maker is shacking up at Sookie’s. Will an angry Bill catch Eric and Sookie in the act?

Photos copyright 2011 HBO Productions. All rights reserved.

Alcide led the parade of beefcake on the July 17 episode.

July 17 – There were enough shirtless scenes in tonight’s episode to constitute a Men of True Blood calendar. Perhaps that’s a new business idea for the folks at HBO. I’m sure a beefcake calendar would sell well among Truebies. Alex Skarsgard spends plenty of time in the buff as the endearingly amnesiac Eric. After draining Sookie’s fairy godmother Claudine, a drunken Eric craves more fairy blood, but stops himself from biting Sookie yet again. After a playful game of hide-and-seek with the freaked-out fairy, he ignores Sookie’s warnings about the impending sunrise and runs off into the woods where Sook and Alcide later find him skinny-dipping in a lake. The Viking vamp and the hunky wolf trade growls for a brief second until Eric becomes debilitated by the rising sun. Sookie urges him to race home and tucks him into his resting place in the cubby. Alcide is very skeptical about Sookie’s keeping Eric at her house but offers his support nevertheless. When he returns to Shreveport Debbie understands his need to help Sookie in her mission with Eric, for now anyway. When Sam surprises Luna at her home he meets her daughter Emma, who takes an instant liking to him. Emma’s father happens to be a very jealous werewolf, Luna warns Sam but he’s not going anywhere. Tommy, meanwhile, drops in on his mom and updates her on this progress back in Bon Temps. He’s livid when he learns his flea bag father Joe Lee was forcing her to compete in the dog fights and is overcome by the horrible hillbilly, who chains him by the throat like a leash and vows to break him in again to return to the dog fights.

Marnie gave Pam an anti-aging treatment that works in reverse.

In Hot Shot, Jason is being used as a stud service by all the she-panthers until he convinces a teenage one to set him loose. An enraged Fenton shifts to panther form and hunts Jason down but Jason drops in on the big cat from a tree branch and kills him with a makeshift stake. A second panther arrives at the scene and reveals itself to be Crystal, who’s happy to see Fenton go so she can rule over Hot Shot alongside Jason. Mr. Stackhouse tells the perturbed pussy she can keep stick it and leaves her standing naked over Fenton’s corpse. He’ll return to her at the rise of the next full moon, she promises him.  Jason collapses on the side of the road and is rescued by Jessica and Hoyt, who happen to be driving by. Nan Flanagan reads Bill the riot act over sending Eric into a den of Wiccans and warns him not to let any human blood be spilled during the inevitable vampire-witch clashes to come. He cross-examines Pam, who needles him about liking his new authority too much. Next he visits with Porzia Bellefleur’s mom and trades recollections of the Bellefleur family history, bringing the get-together to a screeching halt when he realizes that his daughter married into their clan, making Porzia Bill’s great great great great granddaughter! So much for their friends-with-benefits arrangement. Later, Bill show’s up at Sookie’s place just in time to interrupt Eric’s attempt to get a kiss out of Sookie.  When Bill tries to search the premises for Eric, Sookie ironically convinces him not to proceed by reminding him that she’s never lied to him… until now. It says a lot that Sook crossed that line in order to protect Eric from Bill. I suspect Eric will get his long-awaited kiss very soon. Marnie has a dream in which she witnesses the burning of a young witch during the Spanish Inquisition. The witch is the same one who helped her fight off Eric and begins chanting a spell with Marnie as the flames rise higher. When Marnie searches for a spell to recover Eric’s memory with Lafayette, Jesus and Tara, the Spanish witch’s spirit singles out a book with an incantation. Pam meets the witches to get the cure for Eric from Marnie but instead is afflicted with another hex from the Spanish witch that turns her into a walking, rotting corpse. That witch sure does come in handy for Marnie, doesn’t she?

Photos copyright 2011 HBO Productions. All rights reserved.

Crystal forces herself on an unwilling Jason!

July 10 – It seems like everybody in Bon Temps is looking for Eric in the wake of his eventful run-in with the witches. After a brief chase in the woods, Sookie punches Eric in the nose and makes him swear not to bite her in exchange for helping him figure out who he is. Eric is aware that he’s a vampire but he’s not sure what his true nature is anymore. He shares with Sookie the soul-sucking spell Marnie put on him and Sook begrudgingly agrees to help him. She interrupts Pam having a hot feeding session on a hunky human and summons her. Pam, who we all know hates to be bothered while she’s feeding, threatens Sookie — to Eric’s chagrin — then pleads with her to give Eric safe haven from Bill, whom she suspects of having set Eric up with the coven. Eric’s enemies would surely take advantage of his vulnerable state. The witches, meanwhile, aren’t aware how effective their spell was. Lafayette is set on putting himself at Eric’s mercy to avoid the inevitable retribution. Tara and Jesus team up to protect Lafayette from making a big mistake and interrupt a livid Pam’s attack on the sassy cook when he shows up at Fangtasia.  Pam clues them in on Eric’s predicament and gives them 24 hours to deliver Marnie to her so she can force her to undo the spell. Marnie, however, has other plans and succeeds in conjuring up the spirit of the powerful witch who helped her zap Eric. If Pam wants Marnie, she should be ready to deal with some serious magic! Eric’s new personality has the formerly fierce Viking acting like a big, awkward puppy dog, muddying Sook’s rug. When Sook visits Alcide in Shreveport in the hopes of recruiting him to watch over Eric, she learns the musclebound werewolf has reconciled with a sober and newly religious Debbie. We’ll see how long Deb holds on to her religion when Alcide inevitably returns to Bon Temps to keep Sookie out of trouble. Jason could use some protection very badly. Every time he wakes up in Hot Shot he is faced with an ever-escalating nightmare. Bruised and bloodied, Jason is nursed by Crystal, who is awaiting his transformation into a werepanther so he can mate with her. She even gives him Viagra and mounts him while he’s chained to the bed, in full view of the hillbilly panther kids who gleefully await new additions to their pride. Andy, in the throes of his V addiction, is of no help to Jason and has a run-in with Sam, who is aghast when he learns that Tommy is plotting to cheat Hoyt’s mom out of a windfall she’s getting for owning a house built on land that is a source of natural gas. Sam can’t believe how Tommy can betray a lady who’s teaching him to read. Tommy is sick of Sam acting superior to him. Hoyt, meanwhile, blows up at Jessica when she admits she fed on another guy at Fangtasia. Afraid of losing him, Jess glamours her confession out of his memory. More and more, Jessica is abusing her vampire abilities at Hoyt’s expense. This can’t lead to good things. The two get rid of the freaky doll that came with their new home by giving it to Arlene’s devil baby. Talk about a match made in Hell! I wonder if he’ll rip its head off like the Barbie dolls?

Pam gives Tara, Lafayette and Jesus a deadly ultimatum.

Bill is getting increasingly agitated that Eric has not checked in with him about his mission to investigate the Wiccans. His lady lawyer friend manages to distract him by offering herself sexually to him. He accepts her generous offer but tells her bluntly that he can never love her and refuses to drink from her during their coupling. Time will tell how long she will put up with being treated like a convenient playmate while he nurses a broken heart over our gal Sook. Sookie’s fairy godmother Claudine shows up at the house ordering her to return to Fairyland but Sook refuses. While Claudine tries to reason with her Eric pounces and drains her to the point of evaporation. “You just killed my fairy godmother,” Sookie chastises Eric, who can only meekly apologize like a kid caught breaking a window by his mom.

Photos copyright 2011 HBO Productions. All rights reserved.

How did Bill become a vampire king?

June 26 – Having had her fill of both Bill and Eric last season, Sookie accepted Claudine’s invitation to the seemingly idyllic world of the fairies. She soon discovers that appearances are very deceiving, however. Fairyland has a few surprises in store for our gal Sook. She encounters some familiar faces – the bellhop at the Dallas hotel where she stayed while investigating the Brotherhood of the Sun two years ago – and her grandfather Earl, who shares her telepathic gift. The beautiful fairies feed their new recruits a glowing fruit called Lumiere which has a hypnotic – and sinister – effect once eaten.  Sook warns her Granddaddy that all is not as it appears in Fairyland and refuses to eat the Lumiere at the insistence of the fairy queen Mab. When Mab tries to force the freaky fruit down Sook’s throat Sookie blasts her with her light power, hurling Mab with such force that the fairy world’s illusion of beauty is shattered, unmasking the fairies as  ugly, impish creatures who toss exploding energy balls when they’re ticked off. A battle breaks out among warring factions of the fairies and a male fairy helps Sook and Earl escape back to Bon Temps through a portal.  Unfortunately, Earl has eaten the lumiere and immediately vaporizes upon giving Sook his watch to pass on to Jason.  Upon returning home, Sookie finds that Jason is now a cop and has sold her home to a mysterious real estate company called AIK.  Worse still, she discovers that the fifteen minutes she spent in Fairyland were actually 12 months and plenty has changed in her absence.  Sensing her presence, Bill and Eric pop up at sundown and the stirrings of their love triangle begin anew. Andy, however, isn’t too pleased to learn she’s alive after he spent time and money to search for her thinking Bill had killed her.  Bill offers the explanation that she was away on “vampire business” and Jason takes Andy away to appease the grouchy lawman who appears to be hooked on V. Jason has his own problems when the raw-meat loving werepanther kids he’s looking after in Hotshot knock him out and lock him in a big fridge.  Is he to be their next meal? Sook’s friends have been busy over the past year.Lafayetteis pressured by Jesus into joining a witches coven led by an elder Wiccan named Marnie, who spooksLafayetteby channeling the vampire from whom he harvested V before Jason and his V junkie girlfriend killed him. Cousin Tara, not totally surprisingly, ends up working out her aggressions as a cage fighter whose wrestling with her sexy female opponent extends to the bedroom. Tara ignores Lafayette’s text announcing Sookie’s return, preferring her new Sapphic bliss over the man-fueled mayhem she endured back home. Jessica and Hoyt’s domestic bliss is fraying over their difference in appetites and Jess’s lousy cooking skills with human food. When the two have a date night at Fangtasia, the flame-haired bloodsucker can’t help but be tempted by the throbbing vein of a hunky human patron who flirts with her. Pam can’t resist teasing her in the restroom and tells her not to fight her nature. At Merlotte’s Tommy has hooked up with Hoyt’s mom (eewwww!) and Sam is taking anger management therapy with a group of shifters who like to “horse around” after a good session. Arlene has given birth to a cute little boy who likes to tear the heads of Barbie dolls… lots of them. Fearing this is a sign of her baby inheriting Rene’s murderous nature, Arlene tells her kid that “Killing is wrong!”  While Sookie enlists the new lady lawyer Portia’s help in reclaiming her home, Eric and Bill mount media campaigns to undo the damage to vampire-human relations caused by King Russell Edgington’s nationally broadcast murder of a news anchor last year. The two have been plotting as well.  One of the witches participating in Marnie’s latest spell to revive her dead parrot Minerva heads out to visit Bill to report back on what she spied and she addresses Bill as “your majesty.” Bill is now a vampire king!  Perhaps an upcoming Queen Sophie Ann flashback will reveal how this surprising twist came to be.  Eric, meanwhile, has a juicy surprise of his own when he interrupts a dripping wet Sookie coming out of a bath. It seems the Viking Vamp is the mysterious buyer of Sookie’s home, which means she cannot deny him entry to the house. Baring his “erect” fangs, Eric proclaims that Sookie is now his! Is this supposed to be bad news? Hmmm.

Photos copyright 2011 HBO Productions. All rights reserved.

Will Eric take advantage of his new power over Sookie? We can only hope!

Is this the end of Queen Sophie-Anne?

Riveting Revelations

September 12: Eric and King Russell are smokin’ like two strips of bacon on a frying pan outside Fangtasia when Eric’s maker Godric appears urging him to forgive Russ and set him free. Eric ponders his predicament for a second or two before Sookie rescues him, using her fairy blast to free him from the handcuffs he had slapped on himself and Russ. Sook then revives Eric by letting him feed on her blood while Bill sulks. Although Pam and Sookie balk at the idea, Eric decides they should spare King Russell’s life and Sook drags him inside and subdues the charred vampire monarch with heavy silver chains. What will they do with him now? Tara and Sam are basking in the afterglow of their tryst when you can practically hear the screeching tires after Sam confides that he’s a shapeshifter. Tara can’t seem to avoid dealing with supernatural beings any where she turns. She walks in on her annoying mom getting frisky with the pastor who had previously tried to minister to her. Although initially shocked at her mom’s indiscretion, Tara nevertheless wishes her well, wistfully hoping she, too, can find someone who is human and can actually touch a cross for a change. Sam tracks down Tommy and demands he return the Merlotte’s loot. When Tommy turns to walk away, Sam shoots him! Like his cousin Tara, Lafayette is making some uncomfortable discoveries now that he can see visions of the secrets haunting the residents of Bon Temps. Spooked by his new talent, he turns to Jesus, who confesses that he himself is a brujo, a male practitioner of witchcraft. As they say, birds of a feather!  Hoyt’s mom Mrs. Fortenberry stages an intervention to separate him from Jessica once and for all. The gamble fails and Hoyt buys a house to shack up with Jess. Mrs. Fortenberry’s response is to buy a rifle. Might it have silver bullets? 

Can Sookie really be happy in Fairyland without Bill or Eric?

Cementing King Russell’s Fate

Jason hightails it over to Hotshot to warn its residents of the DEA’s impending raid. Crystal’s ornery dad is no help, as usual, but gets the tables turned on him when Crystal’s V-addicted ex shows up in a craze and shoots his face off. When he demands Crystal leave with him, she agrees, asking Jason to take responsibility for looking after the panther people. Jason vows to get her back. At Fangtasia, things are jumping. Alcide visits Sookie and tells her he’s been thinking about her. Sook, who’s just about had it with the chaos that comes with dating vampires, may just be receptive to his overtures. Bill senses that he has a new rival for Sookie’s affections. The first order of business for the team, however, is figuring out how to imprison King Russell without ending him. Sook has no sympathy for him and responds to his attempts to manipulate her by trashing Talbot’s remains in Fangtasia’s garbage dispenser while Russ screams in agony. His Royal Toupee has worse problems when Eric and Bill dump him in a remote construction site and immobilize him with silver while burying him undead in cement. Ever the drama queen, Russell vows to get even with them all when he returns… glug, glug, glug. With Russ swimming in concrete, Bill ambushes Eric and pushes him into a slot right next to the King, telling Eric that he can never have Sookie. He then orders a hit on Pam. Bill intends  to eliminate anyone who learned that Sookie is a fairy to keep her secret from spreading, but Eric escapes Bill’s trap and tells Sook how Bill manipulated their romance from the start at the instructions of Queen Sophie-Anne, who wants to taste her coveted fairy blood. A fed-up Sookie rescinds her invitations to both vampires and orders them out of her life. Eric seems genuine when he apologizes to Sook for tattling on Bill. Bill, still intent on protecting Sookie, lures the newly widowed (and loving it) Queen Sophie-Anne to his house for a death match. Later, a lonely Sook visits her grandma’s grave and is approached by her fairy friend Claudine. After all the drama and danger that accompanied her romance with Bill, Claudine’s outstretched hand is a welcome sight that’s too good to resist.  In a blinding flash, Sookie and the fairies disappear. Will Bill and Eric ever see her again? Tune in next summer. The Biting Remarks blog is taking a break until then. Have a great fall!

 Photos copyright 2010 Home Box Office, Inc. All rights reserved.

Is Jason heading for a cat-astrophe with Crystal?

So now we know that Crystal is literally a catwoman. As part of the were-panther pride in Bon Temps’ neighboring town of Hotshot, Crystal is bound by her people’s laws to mate with her half-brother (ewww!) and keep the panther lineage pure. The problem is that Crystal, though rough around the edges like the rest of her white-trash kin, doesn’t relish the prospect of inbreeding with her kind when the delectable Jason Stackhouse is just within paw’s reach. Her panther pop may dictate that there will be no interspecies mingling with the hunky human, but Crystal’s plenty hot for mixing the gene pool! Jason certainly has a bad track record with women. They’re either V-crazed junkies  or prudish, vamp-baiting Evangelicals. But maybe things could work out with Miss Kitty. After all, Sookie had a flirtation with Alcide the hunky werewolf. And with Joe Manganiello set to return as a regular next season, odds are Alcide will complicate the Bill-Sookie-Eric triangle even further, so maybe Jason should hook up with the panther girl. Everyone in Bon Temps seems to have a supernatural secret anyway! I’m not terribly impressed by Crystal even though her loyalty to her people is admirable.  Jason’s no brain surgeon, but I think he could do better. Still, I do like panthers. I think they’re majestic creatures and certainly have a sexy, dangerous allure. This new storyline reminds me of the 1982 film Cat People, which starred Nastassja Kinski and Malcolm McDowell. As in True Blood, the panther siblings of the film played by Kinski and McDowell were destined to mate or be doomed to kill any humans with whom they dared make love.  I’d have to say that the panthers are sexier than the werewolves, in animal form, anyway. Wolves hunt in packs, but panthers sneak up on their prey, so I expect some tense moments coming up in season four if Jason’s were-panther story continues. Still, they can’t beat the transformation scene from Cat People. It was far cooler than Crystal’s shifting. See for yourself (Note: there’s a flash of nudity).

Screen capture: copyright 2010 Home Box Office, Inc. All rights reserved.

Will Sam and Tara regret their latest fling?

Acting on an Impulse

August 29: Pam gets a little action when Bill shows up at Fangtasia to rescue Sookie. During the ensuing melee, she compensates for not being as old and strong as Bill by spraying him in the face with liquid silver. While Bill and Pam tussle upstairs, Fangtasia’s stripper, still fuming at Eric for calling her a gold-digger, unshackles Sookie and the Sookster sneaks up on Pam, choking her with a silver chain. Sook makes a getaway with her man while Pam pleads to not be left alone with “the immigrant.” Not a smart move if you ask me, Pammy. The stripper isn’t the only one ticked off in Bon Temps. Sam shows up at Merlotte’s totally plastered and insults everyone within sight. Tara, still smarting from learning that Jason and Andy covered up the truth behind Eggs’ death, is hittin’ the sauce pretty hard and sticks around when Sam throws out the patrons and staff. It doesn’t take a clairvoyant to predict what happens next. Sam and Tara are too busy doing naked gymnastics to notice an alarm set off by a vengeful Tommy breaking into the Merlotte’s safe. Sam’s drunken tirade will cost him dearly! Also heating things up are the newly reunited Jessica and Hoyt. Jess confesses to Hoyt that she is addicted to human blood, he offers himself up to satisfy her craving. He seems to enjoy it when she lustily accepts his gallant offer. Hoyt’s annoying mom, who recruited the mousy gal whom he dated for a blip to try to get over Jess, is still determined to keep him away from her. Something tells me her plotting will soon take a dangerous turn.

Is this really the end for Eric Northman?

Sunburn

Holly and Arlene conduct a Wiccan ritual to concoct some mystical solution to Arlene’s unwanted pregnancy. When Arlene bleeds out in bed, the baby survives the emergency to her consternation. Was the blood some sort of spirit draining from the child orchestrated by Holly? She’s a freak, if you ask me. Her interest in Arlene is spooky and too conveniently timed. I suspect she’s a relative of Rene’s plotting to resurrect him or exact revenge upon the Bon Temps residents responsible for his death. In other Bon Temps news, Jason comes to terms with the fact that Crystal is part of a community of were-panthers (so what else is new?) and deduces that the smarmy jock who’s been breaking all his sports records is using V to enhance his performance. Lafayette comes down from his V trip with Jesus and has a horrible vision of a monster in place of his newly addicted boyfriend. Could it be Jesus’ true nature? Bill and Sookie have a heart-to-heart about the ramifications of recent events on their relationship. Sook admits that she has feelings for Eric but that she still loves Bill. She also acknowledges that she’ll have a hard time trusting either of them after the Russell Edgington thing, not knowing that the final act in that drama is about to play out.  Eric pays Russ a visit and shares his quest for revenge, which tickles the vampire monarch with its silliness. Before His Royal Toupee can administer his punishment, Eric promises to share with him the secret to walking during daylight in exchange for letting him live. Next thing you know, the two literally stop Bill and Sookie in their tracks and hightail it back to Fangtasia, where Eric fakes a fight with Bill to distract Russ while he clues Bill in on his plan to double-cross the king. Eric tells Russ that Sook’s blood will grant him immunity from sunlight. The two feed on Sookie while a tense Bill and Pam look on. Russ, crafty as ever, makes Eric test his theory first. The Viking vamp walks out into the sunlight and smiles into the security cameras as if all is well. In truth, Eric’s skin is slowly frying, but he covers his agony to dupe King Russell into joining him outside. As soon as the evil vamp takes the bait, Eric handcuffs them together as they drop to their knees like two vampire eggs on a frying pan! Tune in September 12 for the season finale!

Photos from the True Blood Wiki; copyright 2010 Home Box Office, Inc. All rights reserved.

What horrible retribution does Russell have planned for Eric and the gang?

Who You Callin’ a Fairy?

August 22: It’s official — Sookie is a fairy. Technically she’s half fairy and half human, not that she’s terribly impressed by the revelation coming from Bill. She’s further irked by the insinuation that the reason all the vamps are going bonkers for her, including Bill, is because fairy blood is particularly delicious to their undead palates. Bill assures her that although his attraction to her may have been provoked by this, their bond has evolved beyond mere bloodlust. For some reason, Bill isn’t totally honest about the cold reception he got from Sook’s fellow fairy Claudine in fairyland. Does he have something to hide? At least Sook can take consolation in the fact that she’s a kick-ass fairy. A bitter Tara certainly wouldn’t mind kicking Bill’s ass along with those of vamps everywhere. She gets some solace from Sookie when she tells her the whole story about her nightmare with Freaky Franklin, but her gratitude toward a guilt-wracked Jason quickly dissolves upon hearing his confession that he was the one who fatally shot Eggs last season. The drama between Jason and Tara distracts them from looking after Sookie as Bill had requested and Miss Stackhouse pays Eric Northman a visit. Eric, preparing for his inevitable showdown with King Russell, is getting his affairs in order and drafts a new will leaving his entire estate to Pam, who is not pleased with her sire’s pessimistic attitude. Give Russell what he wants — Sookie, she urges, reasoning that the King will get her anyway. Maybe and maybe not, thinks Eric. Sookie, who continues to have sexy dreams about Eric, finally gets a taste of the real thing when the Viking vamp hungrily plants some kisses on her and she responds. Remembering the potency of her fairy blood, she pulls away before things can progress further.

Russell’s Unfinished Business

The gang at Merlotte’s is in emotional upheaval, as usual. Sam’s attack on Crystal’s white-trash father stirs memories of his larcenous past when he used his shapeshifting ability to pull off thefts. When he was betrayed by a beautiful woman, his revenge on her and her lover was deadly. Tommy, who shares Sam’s rage issues, gets into a tussle with Hoyt after he shows up at Merlotte’s trying to reconcile with Jessica yet again. Hurt by her most recent rejection, Hoyt wastes no time in clocking Tommy when the annoying brat teases him. Tommy, however, strikes back in pitbull form and mangles Hoyt’s hand. Pulling Tommy off her man, Jessica admits that she still has feelings for Hoyt and gives him her blood to heal his wounds. Tommy’s not pleased by their touching reunion. Arlene confesses to Terry that her baby is really Rene’s, but Terry vows to raise the child as his own. Arlene, despite her incessant whining and bad dye job, really lucked out with that guy! Lafayette and Jesus take Crystal’s battered dad to Lafayette’s place after realizing he’ll never make it to the hospital alive. After Lafayette saves his worthless life by giving him V, Crystal’s dad can only spew homophobic slurs at this saviors and reads his daughter the riot act for daring to “mix” with Jason when her “mate” was already preselected. Lafayette and Jesus take hits of V, which takes them on a psychedelic mindtrip that reveals witchcraft figured in both their family histories. Perhaps Lafayette is some sort of shaman. Bill confronts Jason about losing track of Sook, only to be banished from Jason’s place when he rescinds the welcome he granted Bill. Jason’s next visitor is a striking black panther who turns out to be Crystal. Is it my imagination or is Bon Temps becoming some sort of zoo for supernatural animals? What’s in the water, anyway? King Russell’s TV tantrum is causing all sorts of havoc nationwide and Nan Flanagan is back on air trying to put out the fires being fanned by the likes of the zealots from the Brotherhood of the Sun, who are jumping on the PR disaster to push along their anti-vamp agenda. Russ, meanwhile, takes a moment to bid his beloved Talbot a proper farewell by using the body of a lookalike hustler as a vessel for his lamented consort. At Fangtasia, Eric scoops up Sookie and leaves her shackled and screaming in the hidden dungeon. I’m convinced he loves her.

Photo: from the True Blood Wiki. Copyright 2010 Home Box Office, Inc. All rights reserved.